The hospital room Seo Jae-hoon had left was thick with the lingering scent of his guilt, or rather, his self-blame.
Nam Kangwoo, with a troubled expression, stroked his own parched cheek before observing Ha Yeoul, who was sleeping as if dead. He moved his chair as if to get a little closer. *Scrape*, the chair moved with a sound, and Nam Kangwoo's body drew slightly nearer to Ha Yeoul.
His hand rose naturally and caressed the clear face. He swept the longer-than-before hair back and stroked the now-exposed forehead with his fingertips. He traced from the smooth forehead to the well-shaped, long eyebrows and the lush eyelashes.
As he touched the soft skin almost to the point of annoyance, he felt the illusion that Ha Yeoul would surely wake up.
Outside the large window next to Ha Yeoul's bed, the sky was already preparing for night. He wondered if so much time had already passed, and then thought that he wanted to watch the sunset with Ha Yeoul. Just like that night when they had watched the sky, colored with various hues, together.
Looking at the sky, reddened by the sunset, the image of Ha Yeoul from that day, his white cheeks similarly flushed as he met his gaze, flickered before his eyes.
Just as Seo Jaehoon had said, he was waiting. From that day, until now.
"Ha Yeoul. Yeoul-ah."
He intertwined his hand with the slender fingers and murmured the name that wouldn't be heard for a long time. "I'm waiting," he said, "so just wake up."
Just then, as he was completely lost in his own thoughts, he heard the sound of the door opening behind him. Nam Kangwoo's closed eyelids slowly rose, revealing his sunken eyes.
He moved his body slowly to identify who had entered the room. Then he bowed his head politely.
"I've come for my rounds."
"..."
"It seems Yeoul-ssi has no intention of waking up today either."
The man, with a tired face but a smile, approached the bed with soft footsteps. He quickly scanned the chart in his hand while observing Ha Yeoul. As if following a set procedure, he checked the vitals and then slumped into the seat next to Nam Kangwoo with an exhausted expression.
"Kangwoo-ya."
"Uncle."
"You guys need to take care of your health too. Just because Yeoul is lying down, are you all going to lie down with him?"
"..."
"Jaehoon's under-eyes are so black he looks like the grim reaper. Taehee also got a prescription for sleeping pills."
A faint smile appeared on Nam Kangwoo's lips at the worried question coming from the man sitting next to him.
On the name tag pinned to the white coat, the three characters 'Nam Yiwoo' were neatly written. He was his father's youngest brother, an uncle who was only twelve years older than Nam Kangwoo. The man, whose cool eyes were a mirror image of Nam Kangwoo's, observed Ha Yeoul with a face thick with fatigue.
"Cases like this happen sometimes. The body has no problems, but they just don't wake up..."
"..."
"But they almost always wake up eventually, so the three of you, stop looking like you're about to die. What do you young punks know."
"...I don't know why he's not waking up."
As he muttered softly, his gaze still on Ha Yeoul, Nam Yiwoo's hand came to rest on Nam Kangwoo's head. He then gently stroked the back of his nephew's head, who seemed so young in his eyes, with a rough hand.
"The three of you are waiting so eagerly, Yeoul will probably wake up soon."
"..."
"His recovery is fast. His bones are mending better than expected. His inflammation levels are fine too. The damaged organs will leave some after-effects on his body, but he's so fragile like glass that it probably won't be very noticeable."
At Nam Yiwoo's words, Nam Kangwoo's head, which had been motionless, moved slightly.
"But you guys, were you always this close with Yeoul?"
"..."
"I thought you were just casual acquaintances. The nurses' station is in an uproar. They say whenever the three of you take turns standing guard, you hold onto Yeoul's hand like it's going to wear away."
It seemed a rumor had quickly spread after the nurses, who came in to change the IV or check his blood pressure, witnessed them holding his hand and kissing it several times.
"We're close."
"So it seems. What about dinner? Are you doing this after eating, or—"
"I have no appetite."
Nam Yiwoo's gaze swept over Nam Kangwoo's sharp-featured face. Perhaps because he'd lost weight, his already cold-looking face was now frigid, as if devoid of any emotion.
"Kangwoo-ya."
"I did a lot of wrong to Yeoul. The others too."
"..."
"So now I'm on pins and needles. Wondering what will happen if he doesn't wake up."
Nam Yiwoo's lips moved, unable to find the right words to say in response to Nam Kangwoo's low voice.
"What did you do that was so wrong. You young punks, all with the same expressions on your faces..."
"..."
"The prognosis is good. So he'll wake up soon."
"...Don't doctors usually talk about the worst-case scenario?"
"If I told you guys the worst-case scenario on top of everything else, do you think you'd be able to stay here with your sanity intact?"
At Nam Yiwoo's words, Nam Kangwoo let out a hollow laugh.
Only after hearing the quiet reply, "You're right," did Nam Yiwoo get up from his seat. He stared at the face full of worry, but thinking that no words would comfort Nam Kangwoo right now, he simply raised his hand and patted his shoulder.
"Don't stay up all night, get some sleep."
"Yes."
After leaving behind the words of concern, Nam Yiwoo also left the room, leaving the two of them completely alone once again.
Nam Kangwoo's face crumpled as he watched Ha Yeoul sleeping, letting out shallow breaths. There was nothing he could do for Ha Yeoul. The reality that there was nothing he could do, that helplessness, he was only now realizing how much it could make a person feel so small.
He kissed the fingertips of the hand he was holding, then stood up from the chair and kissed the closed eyelids as well. Nam Kangwoo lightly pressed and released a kiss on the soft cheek and the dry, chapped lips, before burying his face in the crook of Ha Yeoul's neck.
He stayed like that for a long while, intoxicated by the sweet scent of his skin.
***
Countless nights, too many to count on ten fingers, had passed, yet Ha Yeoul remained lying there. It seemed about time for him to wake up, but it was unclear whether Ha Yeoul had no intention of waking up, or if he simply didn't want to.
Nam Kangwoo's handsome brow furrowed deeply as he observed the serene face.
It was now a daily routine to stare at Ha Yeoul, who lay with the same face as yesterday and the day before, searching for even the slightest change. He felt the urge to forcibly lift the tightly shut eyelids.
"Ha Yeoul."
At the name that came out like a habit whenever he opened his mouth, Nam Kangwoo's expression hardened for a moment, then he slowly rubbed the back of the hand he was holding with his thumb.
The season was now summer. The daytime temperatures had risen to hover around 27-28 degrees Celsius.
"It's summer now."
After whispering as if to tell Ha Yeoul, who was still in spring, what season it was, his gaze returned to the window. It was hot outside, but the hospital room was maintained at a constant temperature and humidity.
He was lost in thought for a moment when he heard a presence behind him. Turning his head, he saw Mo Taehee, who had arrived at some point, slump into the empty seat opposite him.
"Where's Seo Jaehoon."
"He's coming. He stopped by a cafe to buy coffee."
A dry answer followed the dry question. Nam Kangwoo nodded and shifted his gaze back to Ha Yeoul's face. Mo Taehee was no different. In the silent hospital room, the sound of the humidifier and the occasional breaths of Nam Kangwoo and Mo Taehee mingled.
When Seo Jaehoon belatedly arrived at the room, the first thing he saw was Nam Kangwoo and Mo Taehee sitting opposite each other, each holding one of Ha Yeoul's hands. At the ridiculous sight, Seo Jaehoon let out a hollow laugh and approached the bed, plopping down next to Nam Kangwoo.
"How is he."
"What."
"Ha Yeoul."
"The same. He seems to be sleeping until he's sick of it."
A gloomy conversation took place without either of them looking away.
As the time Ha Yeoul spent lying down grew longer, irritability, like a close friend to their gloom, grew in volume. After shouting matches over trivial topics several times, the three of them, as if by agreement, spoke less.
"The coffee?."
Mo Taehee, who had been listening to their short conversation, asked in a low voice, and Seo Jaehoon turned his head to meet his eyes.
"Gave some with cookies to the nurses' station, ours is over there."
Finishing his answer, Seo Jaehoon's chin gestured carelessly behind him. On the table, there were three iced americanos in a carrier, just left there. Mo Taehee, who had asked about the coffee's whereabouts, also seemed to have no intention of drinking it, as he didn't move easily.
Seo Jaehoon, who had been fixing his gaze on the steadily rising and falling chest, rested his face on the edge of the bed.
"When he wakes up, you know."
"..."
"I'm going to do everything he asks for... shit."
"What if he tells you to get lost from his sight."
"...I've thought about it, and I think I can do that too."
At Seo Jaehoon's uncharacteristically gentle voice, both Nam Kangwoo and Mo Taehee let out a laughed. Thinking, 'as if', they both nodded in agreement, as if they were no different.
"That's right. We'll let Yeoul close his door, let him go to school alone... if he says he's going on a blind date, we'll let him do that too. Ah, but we have to make sure that Jin Nari or whatever her name is can't even step on Yeoul's shadow. Han Seoyun took a leave of absence, so that's settled."
Mo Taehee muttered in a voice thick with lingering attachment. Then, at the sound of Seo Jaehoon's voice suddenly speaking, his moving lips clamped shut.
"I met Park Min-ah yesterday."
Seo Jaehoon, who had been burying his forehead in the edge of the bed, slowly lifted his head.
"The moment she saw my face, the tiny thing dragged me to a cafe, I don't know where she got the strength."
"And."
"So we were just talking about this and that at the cafe, and Yeoul's name came up."
At Seo Jaehoon's words, which trailed off as if in hesitation, the gazes of the other two sparkled, urging him to continue.
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