Chapter 23
As soon as they got home, before Tan Xu even had the chance to unclip his leash, the little calico shot onto the sofa like a tiny cannonball.
Mimicking what Tan Xu had taught him, he patted the tablet with his paws to turn it on. But perhaps he was doing something wrong, because the screen remained dark. Left with no other choice, he resorted to his foolproof, universal solution: yelling for Tan Xu.
The moment Tan Xu unlocked the tablet for him, Yun Xing impatiently dragged it over onto the cushions. Seeing this, Tan Xu secretly breathed a sigh of relief. It was a good thing the kitten hadn't figured out how to turn it on himself, otherwise, wouldn't he be glued to the screen all day long?
If that ever happened, to prevent the little cat from becoming nearsighted or developing a screen addiction, he’d have no choice but to set up a "kitten anti-addiction mode."
Tapping into the short-video app, Yun Xing went straight to his video. The view count had miraculously reached 50,000, with 5,634 likes. Yun Xing nodded in satisfaction. "Everyone definitely loves me. Tan Xu, read the comments to me!"
Tan Xu scooped the smug little kitten right off the sofa. "Time to eat first!"
Yun Xing squirmed a bit but failed to break free. In his head, he cursed Tan Xu for being a colossal, irredeemable villain. The man hadn't even started cooking yet; it was obviously just a lame excuse to stop him from playing on the tablet.
The second Tan Xu plopped him down at the dining table, he bolted.
Tan Xu shook his head with a chuckle. "I'll read them to you later. Today’s menu is boiled gongcai and chicken breast."
Yun Xing actually quite liked gongcai. It was crunchy and made a fun crunch-crunch sound in his mouth when chewed, which was very entertaining.
Seeing Tan Xu head into the kitchen to cook, the little calico sprawled out on the sofa to rewatch his own video.
But soon, he noticed something was off. Although there were many characters he couldn't read, he still recognized a few—and Tan Xu absolutely did not use the caption he had requested! How dare Tan Xu pull the classic "agreeing to his face but doing the opposite behind his back" trick!
Yun Xing was fuming. However, seeing how many people liked him, he magnanimously decided not to hold it against Tan Xu—though, of course, all those likes were purely because of his own undeniable charm. Just like that, Yun Xing successfully coaxed himself out of his bad mood.
He hopped off the sofa and swaggered into the kitchen to resume his grand duty as supervisor. He felt exceptionally smug about having secretly discovered Tan Xu’s insubordination, yet being a big enough person to let it slide.
The little calico hopped onto the kitchen counter with practiced ease, strutting over to Tan Xu with his chest puffed out and head held high.
Tan Xu shot him a glance. "What is it?"
Yun Xing gave a soft harrumph. "Don't you have anything you want to say to me?"
Tan Xu dropped the gongcai into a small boiling pot. "Such as?"
Yun Xing sat down beside him and began licking his paw. "There is no 'such as'. Think carefully. Have you done anything to wrong me?"
Without hesitating for even a second, Tan Xu replied, "No." He had absolutely never done anything to wrong his own little cat.
Yun Xing stood up, tilted his head, and shuffled a little closer to Tan Xu. However, being vertically challenged, he couldn't quite meet Tan Xu's eyes. "Lower your head, please."
Tan Xu stirred the boiling vegetables with his chopsticks. Hearing Yun Xing's demand, the corners of his lips couldn't help but twitch upward. He leaned down to meet Yun Xing's gaze.
The little calico’s irises were a pale, translucent shade. Tan Xu could even see his own reflection mirrored in them. "Go ahead.” he said.
Yun Xing stared intently at Tan Xu, his head still cocked to the side. "Think very carefully about what you did wrong with the video you posted today!"
The little calico had a perfectly round head. Tilted slightly like that, his two pointy ears looked incredibly adorable, bearing a striking resemblance to a wildly popular meme on the internet.
Tan Xu raised an eyebrow high. "Is this about your badass caption?"
Realizing Tan Xu had guessed correctly, the little calico straightened his head. "Exactly! Tan Xu, you are not allowed to change my captions without permission next time!"
"Alright, I won't change it next time," Tan Xu agreed.
Only then did Yun Xing let Tan Xu off the hook. He reached out a paw and patted the handle of the pot—he knew the main body of the pot was hot, and he was no idiot cat. "Pay attention to your cooking."
Tan Xu scooped out the boiled gongcai. Just as he was about to transfer it into a bowl, a fluffy paw blocked his hand. Tracing the paw up to Yun Xing, he heard the cat ask, "Aren't you going to add some seasoning?"
"Little cats can't have seasonings," Tan Xu explained.
Yun Xing’s ears had practically grown calluses from hearing this phrase so often. Still, hearing Tan Xu say it again filled him with a sense of impotent rage. In a voice he deemed incredibly fierce, he retorted, "Cats can have it! And I'm not a little cat!"
Tan Xu couldn't suppress the curve of his lips. "Mhm. You're not a little cat, you're a little cat-man."
Yun Xing puffed out his fluffy chest. "I am a Mountain God. I am very powerful."
"Uh-huh, of course," Tan Xu humored him, transferring the gongcai into a small bowl anyway. "Our Xingxing is the most powerful in the whole world."
Pleased once again, Yun Xing paced two victory laps around the counter to settle his excitement. Then, retracing his steps, he hopped onto the trash can and landed gracefully on the floor, swaggering out of the kitchen.
By the time he made it back to the sofa, the tablet screen had long since gone to sleep. Yun Xing patted it a few times, but it remained dark. Whoever designed this tablet clearly hadn't spared a single thought for cats!
Yun Xing wanted to call Tan Xu over to help turn it on, but he felt a tad embarrassed. Tan Xu was slaving away in the kitchen cooking, while he was just out here playing on the tablet. A rare sliver of guilt actually crept into his heart.
But then he thought about it again: he was the master! It was only right and proper for Tan Xu to serve him. Thus, he yelled at the top of his lungs, "Tan Xu!"
There was a rustle from the kitchen, and a moment later, Tan Xu walked out. "What's wrong?"
Yun Xing slapped the tablet self-righteously. "Turn this on for me."
Tan Xu didn't budge. "It's almost time to eat. Stop playing on the tablet."
Yun Xing hadn't actually been all that desperate to play, but the moment he heard Tan Xu defying him again, he slapped the tablet with renewed vigor. "Turn it on right now!"
Tan Xu ignored his demands completely. He brought the shredded chicken breast and gongcai out to the dining table, then strode over to the sofa and scooped the little cat right up. Having been effectively kidnapped and brought to the dining table, Yun Xing was exceedingly disgruntled.
But seeing that Tan Xu had already laid out his food on the table, it felt inappropriate to keep making a fuss. Just as he was about to command Tan Xu to hand-feed him, he suddenly remembered the sweet and sour pork—the guobaorou—he had insisted on buying earlier that day.
"Hurry up and bring out that meat!"
Tan Xu opened the takeout container of guobaorou. The fried pork tenderloin was coated in a glistening, translucent glaze, giving off a distinctively rich, sweet and sour aroma.
"Let me have a taste!" Yun Xing immediately opened his mouth wide. Seeing Tan Xu hesitate, he hurriedly added, "Cats can eat this!"
Seeing the cat practically drooling with anticipation, Tan Xu relented and picked up a tiny piece for him with his chopsticks. "Only this one piece."
Yun Xing swallowed it down to get a taste, but found he didn't really like it. It was a bit too hard for his liking, and he quickly lost interest in eating any more. Without arguing, he obediently lowered his head and started eating his own food.
Seeing how stingy Tan Xu had been—only allowing him one measly little piece—he had assumed it was some incredibly delicious delicacy. As it turned out, it didn't suit his palate in the slightest.
Yun Xing chewed his gongcai, enjoying the crunch-crunch echoing in his head so much that he couldn't help but bob his head happily.
Tan Xu tapped the edge of his kitty bowl. "Eat some of your meat."
Yun Xing gave a soft hmph. "Of course I'm going to eat the meat. Just not right now."
Yun Xing played around with a couple more strips of gongcai in his mouth. It wasn't until he had polished off all the vegetables that he finally remembered to start on the chicken breast next to it.
Tan Xu had been busy watching the cat eat. By the time he finally picked up his own chopsticks, the guobaorou had long gone completely cold. It was now rock-hard and practically inedible. Tan Xu managed only a single piece before bagging the rest up and tossing it into the trash can.
Catching him in the act, Yun Xing finally found the perfect opportunity to flex his authority. He squalled out, "Tan Xu! How could you waste food like that!"
"Well, do you still want to eat it?" Tan Xu asked, reopening the container of cold, hardened pork.
Yun Xing used his paw to shove the guobaorou away in disgust. "You're trying to feed me the stuff you don't even want?"
Tan Xu had figured out ages ago that the cat didn't like it. Even hearing Yun Xing's hypocritical accusation, he didn't say a word, simply tossing the pork back into the trash.
"Are you hungry then?" Noticing that Tan Xu had barely eaten anything, Yun Xing grew a little worried. After all, Tan Xu was still a patient recovering from a serious illness; he had only just been discharged from the hospital.
Tan Xu reached out and rubbed his head, then gave his belly a gentle pat. The little cat’s stomach was bulging nicely—he was clearly stuffed. "You've eaten yourself a little potbelly," Tan Xu teased.
Yun Xing had genuinely been trying to show some care and concern. Hearing Tan Xu poke fun at him instead, he couldn't help but unleash the furry fists he hadn't used in a while, giving the man two swift thwacks on the arm.
Without another word, he hopped off the dining table and trotted back to the sofa, his big fluffy tail raised high in indignation.
Seeing that the kitten was actually angry, Tan Xu had no choice but to put down what he was doing and walk over to coax the little calico.
As soon as Yun Xing saw him approaching, he immediately turned his back, presenting his butt to Tan Xu. When Tan Xu moved to the other side, Yun Xing shifted to point his butt at him again.
"Xingxing," Tan Xu murmured, petting the kitten so vigorously that he mussed up all his fur. "Don't be mad. I was wrong."
Yun Xing shot out a paw to put a stop to Tan Xu's atrocious behavior, then sat up properly to lick his fur back into place. That despicable Tan Xu! He wasn't here to apologize at all! He had completely ruined his smooth, perfectly groomed coat.
Seeing that the little cat was still ignoring him, Tan Xu tried again. "Baby, I said I'm sorry."
Hearing Tan Xu address him like that, every single hair on Yun Xing's body instantly puffed out in shock. "Do not call me baby!"
Glad that he was finally willing to speak, Tan Xu nuzzled his face affectionately against Yun Xing's fur. "What should I call you, then?"
"Call me 'Your Majesty'!" Yun Xing stood up, puffing himself out to look as majestic and intimidating as possible while glaring down at Tan Xu.
Tan Xu’s brow twitched fiercely. Seeing Yun Xing’s dead-serious expression, he surrendered in defeat and reached up to massage his own temples. "Your Majesty, could you please find it in your heart to forgive this lowly subject?"
At that, Yun Xing was instantly delighted. He didn't let it show on his face, however. Putting on a highly conflicted expression, he declared with great mercy, "Very well, then. You may now turn on the tablet and read my comments for me."
Tan Xu glanced at the unwashed dishes sitting on the dining table. It wouldn't hurt to wash them a little later, he figured.
The moment he unlocked the tablet, Yun Xing eagerly squeezed in close. "Later, you have to bring up all the previous videos you posted so I can inspect those, too."
"Mhm," Tan Xu agreed, opening the app for the little cat. Seeing the "99+" notification badge on the messages tab, the kitten couldn't resist raising his tail high in the air once again.
See? There isn't a single person in the world who wouldn't like him. Yun Xing was simply the best-looking, most handsome, and cutest little cat in the entire universe!
Yun Xing tapped the tablet screen with his paw. "Tan Xu, hurry up and read the comments out loud."
The vast majority of the comments showered Yun Xing with praise for his cuteness. There were also quite a few joking that he was their lost cat, demanding that Tan Xu deliver him to them immediately.
Tan Xu brushed those off as netizens just playing along with a running joke—that is, until he saw one particular private message.
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