Chapter 4: Knock-off Phones—They Just Get the Job Done!
This time, the ink didn't bleed, but it was still far from ideal for writing—certainly not compared to the paper the man usually used. He figured it was just some substandard, homemade paper produced by common folk, so a dip in quality was only natural.
Yang Xuanse tried to comfort himself with the thought that in ancient times, all government officials had to have immaculate handwriting. Anyone with ugly calligraphy would have been weeded out long before passing the provincial exams.
It was fine. His own handwriting would look terrible anyway and ruin the official merchandise, but a top-tier scholar who passed the exams could definitely pull it off!
The man set down his brush and gave a light flick of his wrist. The guard who had been holding a broadsword to Yang Xuanse’s throat immediately withdrew. Even though the guard’s back had been turned, it was as if the man had eyes in the back of his head; the blade was sheathed and the guard stood at attention behind him in an instant.
Things had already come to this, and struggling was useless. Yang Xuanse knew when to yield. "My Lord, I truly didn't kill anyone. I'm a law-abiding citizen."
"A law-abiding citizen who carries around a manual on how to murder, hide bodies, destroy evidence, and the details of various judicial tortures?" The man raised the notebook with a half-smile, asking rhetorically, "You certainly have a lot of nerve, prying into the torture methods of Military of Justice. What? Were you hoping to try them all out in person?"
Yang Xuanse waved his hands frantically. "No, no, no! This is just storybook merchandise! Do you understand? It’s like... when an author writes a novel, to make some extra money, they create items based on the book's contents—things like bookmarks or matching pens and ink! This thing I have is just a souvenir from a novel!"
The man didn't fully grasp the concept, but he picked up on the word novel. Taking the opportunity, he posed another question: "Then why is it that I don't recognize all the characters written on it?"
Hearing the man use a royal pronoun, Yang Xuanse froze. He had watched plenty of ancient mystery dramas. In his memory, the only people who referred to themselves that way—aside from high-ranking imperial concubines—were... the Crown Prince.
This insanely rich guy is the Crown Prince!
Once that realized hit him, Yang Xuanse felt like he had a bizarre talent for falling. He had literally fallen right into the Crown Prince’s arms! What kind of web novel protagonist gets an experience like that?!
But the joy quickly evaporated when reality set in: he was a prisoner, currently on his knees. He still had to come up with a convincing explanation for the Crown Prince's question. If he gave one wrong answer, those blood-drenched torture devices would be used on him.
Think, you stupid brain, think! Or your head's coming off!
"Because... those are simplified characters," Yang Xuanse blurted out, resorting to the explanation of Chinese character simplification from his history textbooks. "My Lord, as you probably know, it’s very difficult for commoners to learn how to read. So, in my hometown, to promote literacy, many characters were simplified."
The Crown Prince narrowed his eyes. "Sim-pli-fied? No wonder listening to you speak feels intelligible, yet I can't understand every word. So it's because your homeland simplified the script... Fascinating. Where is your hometown, anyway?"
Yang Xuanse just made something up on the spot. He had already lied this far, anyway: "To the east. Farther east than Penglai or Fusang, an overseas realm. I don't even know how I got here... I might have stepped into a teleportation array."
The moment the words left his mouth, the guard couldn't hold back anymore. He drew his blade with a sharp clank. "You villain, spewing endless lies! How dare you try to deceive His Highness!"
Teleportation arrays? Overseas realms? Absolute nonsense! He was just using tales from fantasy novels to escape punishment!
"Why would I lie to you?!" Yang Xuanse snapped back in frustration. "If I were trying to sneak into your country, wouldn't I at least change into less eye-catching clothes and grow out my hair?" Did he look that stupid or insane?
The Crown Prince held up a hand to lower the guard's sword, looking deeply amused. "True enough. Much of what you say is logical. We shall assume for now that you hail from overseas. However, your suspicion has not been cleared. For now, you remain a suspect. First, explain this pile of items."
As soon as he spoke, prison guards stepped forward, hauled Yang Xuanse up, and dragged him to the desk. He stood while the Crown Prince sat, yet in terms of aura, he was completely outmatched.
Resigned to his fate, Yang Xuanse pointed at each item one by one. "Magical artifact (smartphone), keychain, plush pendant, notebook, tissues, a drink, and a pen."
The Crown Prince didn't really understand most of it, but he kept his composure. "Demonstrate how to use each of them."
Since he was at the mercy of others, Yang Xuanse picked up the fountain pen first. He uncapped it and prepared to write his name in his notebook. But when he opened it, he saw the date the Crown Prince had just written. He could read traditional characters just fine.
However, the prince's handwriting was neat, magnificent, and elegant—pure perfection. If his own chicken scratches ended up right next to it on his own official merch... the prince's writing added to its value, while his own would ruin it completely.
After a moment's thought, Yang Xuanse pushed the notebook aside. Right in front of the Crown Prince, he took a sheet of Xuan paper and, following the ancient format, wrote down his name. He recited it aloud, "Yang Xuanse. That’s my name. Do you understand?"
"'Deeply thoughtful, like wearing jade, a gentleman rests in tranquility, his mind untroubled by forgotten woes. The sound and beauty enchant others, leaving spectators enraptured and forgetting to return.' Derived from the Ji surname, of the Yang clan... Your name is strangely put together. It lacks meaning, purpose, and blessing. Is it your real name?" the guard chimed in.
The Crown Prince shot him a sideways glance, and the guard immediately shut his mouth in intimidation. Still, that was precisely what the prince had wanted to ask.
Yang Xuanse was clueless. He read a lot of web novels, but his actual literary foundation was practically non-existent. "Huh? What was all that gibberish you just rambled on about? This is my real name. That’s just what I’m called."
The two of them were talking past each other. The Crown Prince, at least being well-read, managed to roughly piece together what Yang Xuanse meant. He said, "He means your name sounds as though it was chosen merely for how it sounds, rather than given by parents with intention."
Now that, Yang Xuanse understood. "Oh, then I wouldn't know. I don't have parents. I was raised by an adoptive father who wasn't very educated."
Because his adoptive father lacked education, Yang Xuanse had long suspected his name was the result of a dialect miscommunication—the clerk at the registry office must have misheard and used homophones instead. Otherwise, he might have ended up named something like Sunse.
The Crown Prince hadn't expected such an origin. He glanced at Yang Xuanse’s handwriting; it wasn't ugly, and it clearly belonged to someone who knew how to write. Someone illiterate wouldn't even be able to form straight strokes and slashes properly. "Very well. Record that he has no parents. Also, show me how the rest of these items work."
Yang Xuanse complied. He capped the pen, placed it aside with great care, and picked up the pack of tissues. "These are tissues. They're for wiping things."
The moment those words were spoken, a shock ran through the interrogation room. Paper this pure white... was meant for wiping things?!
Only the Crown Prince maintained a poker face. Seeing the utter shock on everyone else's faces, Yang Xuanse let out a stiff laugh. "Yeah, that's just how things are where I'm from. And this one is a drink. I brought it along to quench my thirst; it's called a beverage."
The Crown Prince nodded. "I see. Open it and take a sip."
Having been dragged through hell all morning, Yang Xuanse was already parched. He quickly unscrewed the cap and took a couple of big gulps to soothe his throat. He had bought jasmine green tea, and since he hadn't eaten breakfast, it was meant to quench his thirst while supplying enough sugar to keep him from getting hypoglycemia at the escape room.
Who would have thought it would end up quenching his thirst in the Dali’s prison instead?
After drinking a few gulps, Yang Xuanse put the bottle down. Seeing the Crown Prince staring at him, he hesitated before offering it forward. "Do you... want to try some?"
The way the cap had been twisted open was already quite unusual. The Crown Prince thought for a moment, then gestured to his guard. When the guard leaned down, the prince whispered, "Dismiss the others. And bring a clean cup."
Yang Xuanse couldn't hear what they were saying. Seeing the prince whispering, he assumed they were discussing whether he was trustworthy, so he watched them attentively.
To his surprise, once the guard stood back up, he ordered everyone else out. He didn't stay either, stepping out of the interrogation room and closing the door behind him.
"Huh? Why did everyone leave? Aren't... aren't you going to question me anymore?" Yang Xuanse asked, looking at the door in confusion.
"With so many eyes watching, are you planning to be burned at the stake as a monster?" the Crown Prince asked back in a gentle, quiet voice.
A shiver ran down Yang Xuanse’s spine. It suddenly hit him: he had done what so many time-travelers do. Time travel was actually a terrifying thing. A modern person couldn't possibly suppress or hide their living habits entirely. In the eyes of a ruler, someone like him would either be captured and used as a tool...
Or executed.
At the thought of that possibility, Yang Xuanse gripped the bottle tight, frozen in place, not daring to turn back to look at the prince.
The Crown Prince tapped the tabletop softly. "Alright, turn around. I don't care where you came from, because with a brain like yours, you couldn't accomplish anything anyway. I'm far more interested in how you appeared."
Tears welling in his eyes, Yang Xuanse turned around, feeling utterly wronged. "But I really don't know how I got here..."
"Didn't you bring a magical artifact with you? What if it brought you here?" The Crown Prince gestured with his eyes toward the last remaining item.
"This is just a basic device! Everyone back home has one! In our world, artifacts that can teleport people only exist in novels and plays! Aside from our lives being a bit more convenient and simpler, we aren't that different from you guys," Yang Xuanse argued. What use could a single phone possibly have?
Without a cellular signal or a charger, it would turn into a piece of scrap metal in two days.
The Crown Prince rested his chin on his hand. "Yet you called it an artifact."
Exhausted from explaining, Yang Xuanse unlocked the phone with his fingerprint, opened the photo gallery, and held it up to the prince. "Here, the 'artifact.' It barely does anything. I just took a few photos of the crime scene."
The black rectangular block suddenly lit up, displaying a picture. This time, the Crown Prince was genuinely stunned. "Inside here... is..."
"It’s not that the inn is trapped inside. You can think of it as a device that records visual images using magic. It’s just a very realistic picture," Yang Xuanse attempted to explain using concepts a person from this era could understand.
Understanding dawned on the Crown Prince. "Ah, illusion magic. A highly realistic illusion, and one that lasts a long time."
Yang Xuanse nodded. "Something like that. But this magic requires—"
He had been about to say the phone needed to be charged, and that once the battery died, it would be useless—just like how magical artifacts needed to be recharged with spiritual energy. But then he instinctively glanced at the battery icon... and noticed that the battery percentage hadn't dropped at all.
Back at the inn, he had already checked his battery; it was at 90%. Along the way, he had taken numerous photos and tried repeatedly to find a signal, and now he was showing the gallery to the prince. He had been using this phone for three years, and its battery life was usually terrible. How was it that it hadn't dropped by even one percent?
"Wait, no... that's not right..." Yang Xuanse snatched the phone back, staring intently at the battery icon. He gave the phone a shake, but the percentage remained completely unchanged. His eyes instantly turned red.
"Bro, seriously?! Is this really because of you?! I only bought a knock-off phone to save a few bucks! Did you really have to pull a stunt like this?! If you teleported me here, at least teleport me back!"
The Crown Prince looked at Yang Xuanse calmly, thinking to himself. Why is he such a crybaby? If my little niece punched him, he’d probably cry for hours.
Comments Box