While Han Jinheon was at work, I took over his room.
I have to confess, I really didn't want to come into this room. If I was going to get over him, I should have blocked myself from entering this room in the first place. However, being dull and weak to everything, I couldn't stop myself and would occupy Han Jinheon's bed whenever I had a chance.
"I wonder if it would work if I used this room and Han Jinheon used mine..."
That wouldn't solve the problem. If Han Jinheon were to use my room, I'd just end up going to his room again. My reason for entering this room, both before and after becoming an Omega, was the same: to feel Han Jinheon's scent, pheromones, and warmth.
"It makes my mind feel at ease..."
I mumbled, tossing and turning. The reason I felt so relaxed even while being in 'someone else's' room was because of the 'someone else's' permission. Han Jinheon knew I came into his room, stayed there, and left, and he wasn't displeased. In fact, he had given me permission to stay as long as I wished.
I vowed I would never come in again because I was so embarrassed that time... But here I am, lying down. I can't help it. When I smell his unique sweet scent, my mind and body find stability.
Stability...
"Oh, damn it."
Just as the drowsiness that had been creeping up from my toes was about to cover my consciousness, the sharp ring of my cell phone startled me. Since I couldn't manually calm my thumping heart, I just rubbed my chest and searched for my phone.
Where is it? Ah, there it is.
I checked the screen of the phone I found after fumbling around my lying area. The name "Mom" displayed at the top was unwelcome. My barely calmed heart began to stir up for a different reason. She made me uncomfortable and anxious.
What could it be? She hasn't called in a while.
I had to contact her anyway. So should I answer?
It should be right to answer...? Should I answer or not...
The call ended while I was agonizing. It felt like a stroke of luck, but no sooner had I wished the phone wouldn't ring again than it did. I buried my face in the pillow, let out a distressed "Ugh," then picked up the phone and adjusted my position.
Sitting cross-legged on the bed, I sighed and slid the answer button from left to right. I didn't have the courage to put the phone directly to my ear. I placed it on the bed and turned on speaker mode.
— Han Sol. Sol-ah... My son?
I just swallowed, unable to answer the voice that called me three times in a row, even though it was soft and gentle. Then, when her direct question, "Are you ignoring me?" pierced through, I immediately opened my mouth. I was afraid to let her misunderstand.
"No! I'm not ignoring you, I just... looking for the right time to answer..."
— Yes, whatever. My son, are you eating well?
"Yes. I-I'm eating well..."
— And are you sleeping well? There's no strength in your voice at all.
"I'm sleeping well, too... Ah. The lack of energy might be because I was about to take a nap and just woke up..."
I tried to imply that I hoped she would hang up, but Lee Geumyeong didn't catch on. Or perhaps she knew but pretended not to. She asked in a very soft voice.
— The new year has started, but you don't think of your mother? I wasn't able to contact you, but how can you not contact me even once?
She said she could overlook the fact that I didn't respond to her calls after that day. But she was hurt in many ways because she saw my brother at Christmas, yet I didn't call her first, and I didn't even check in during the end of the year or the New Year.
— Your mother even packed and sent food... Are you so angry that you don't even want to make one call? Still, huh?
That's not it. I did hear about it belatedly from Han Jinheon, but I passed it off as something outside the realm of things I needed to care about. If I'm being honest, I didn't want to contact her using the food as an excuse. I can't tell her that truth.
— Han Sol. My Sol-i.
Lee Geumyeong affectionately called my name again. I narrowed my brows, finding her voice bothersome.
— Son. Are you very angry with your mother? I was too hard on you last year, wasn't I? I, I've reflected a lot. I'm so sorry to my son.
"Ah..."
— Jinheon told me before. To give up my greed for you...
A remark I vaguely heard from Han Jinheon came to mind. He said he saw Lee Geumyeong at an event, that her greed for me remained, and her love for her son was profound. Instead of taking those words at face value, I twisted them once and dismissed them...
— Your mother has decided to give it up. Whether you're a Beta or an Omega doesn't matter. I'm just satisfied with my Han Sol being my son.
This time, Lee Geumyeong's past words echoed in my mind. She had sneered, "Would you be satisfied with him? Isn't it funny that you'd be satisfied with a mere Beta?" But now she's suddenly satisfied?
— I'm sorry, son. Please let go of your hurt feelings and forgive your mother.
Is she serious? Is she really asking for forgiveness?
She apologized for the wrong she had done to me, but it didn't feel genuine, leaving me flustered. What is her scheme? It only sounded suspicious because I had already been disappointed so many times. Or perhaps because she is the kind of person to have a scheme.
— Sol-ah. Still, I'm your mother, and you're my son, aren't you? So let go of your anger, okay? I've really reflected, you know?
-Ugh. The sound of distress came out involuntarily because she was trying to force my forgiveness by leveraging our relationship. I quickly bit my lip, worried that she might hear it.
Lee Geumyeong was a person who caused mental turmoil just by calling. She instantly disturbed my mind even though I was in the most comfortable and stable place in this mansion.
If I had a good relationship with my mother before I transmigrated, or if I were a little more skilled at dealing with mothers... would I have a clue how to navigate this situation?
At the time, I was very angry and quite shocked, but now I've softened and become dull. Although she remains a regrettable and unsettling presence, now that I have manifested as an Omega, she probably won't treat me so carelessly as she did before.
Is this reason alone enough to forgive Lee Geumyeong now?
I can't be sure, as my forgiveness might become the starting point for her to torment Han Sol again. However, the fact that she is Han Sol's mother bothers me. Since we won't live apart forever, shouldn't I take this opportunity, when Lee Geumyeong has lowered herself, to forgive her?
The natural bond between parent and child is not something that can be severed as simply as cutting a radish. That's something I realized even in my life before transmigration.
She didn't miss the moment I hesitated. She continuously tried to persuade me with a gentle voice.
— Are we like other mothers and sons? What kind of relationship do we have? Shouldn't we continue to rely on each other and live together?
"..."
— Frankly, for me, too. I was greatly disappointed that you didn't tell your mother you were unmanifested, and I was also very angry that you chose Han Jinheon's side over your mother... But I started to think that my son must have had a good reason for it.
She implied that she was greatly disappointed and angry with me but forgave me. So, I should forgive her too. I also had my reasons. She seems to be forcing my forgiveness in this manner because I'm not responding no matter what she says.
— Sol-ah, are you listening?
"Yes, I am listening, but... I'm sorry. I don't know what to say..."
— I see... That's understandable. Even though your mother thought about this for days, it must be sudden for my Sol-i.
Lee Geumyeong's voice scattered faintly and disappeared. The silence she created shook my heart more heavily than her constant gentle voice explaining her position.
I dry-washed my face with both hands. My palms, sweaty from tension, were cool and damp. With my fringe pushed back so my eyelids were exposed, I endlessly stared at the screen and carefully called her name.
No matter how much Han Sol is a child who is 'out of the fold'... I honestly can't treat her as a parent who is 'out of the fold.'
"Mom... When the time is right, I'll visit the main house with Hyung. I have something to tell both of you, and..."
— Really? Do you know that the Chairman is currently abroad? Come as soon as he returns. Hoho, what could our son want to say?
I inadvertently gave the phone a sidelong glance. It felt like she already knew what I was going to say and was testing me. Han Jinheon also dropped a hint before, saying he was relieved that Lee Geumyeong knew but remained silent.
"I plan to tell you when I get there that day. I... I don't know if this is an appropriate thing for me to say, but the year has changed, hasn't it? I'd like to have a meal with the family."
— That's great! Son, it's been a while since you ate with your mother and the Chairman. We always ate together when you lived here... Don't worry about the Chairman if you come. Your mother can handle the Chairman. I can do better than Jinheon!
Oh no. I had completely forgotten a very important person. Lee Geumyeong isn't the only one I need to worry about.
— Your mother can finally sleep peacefully starting today! My most beautiful and kind son even forgave me.
"...Ha, haha..."
I am the most beautiful in the world, yes. But I'm not kind, am I? You're the one who watched Han Sol's misdeeds more than anyone... Ah, darn it, this just makes your sincerity even harder to feel.
Before ending the call, I threw out the words I had been debating. Given the timing, I thought it was better to say them than not.
"...Happy New Year."
— ...
The silence was awkward. Just as I was about to press the end button hastily, Lee Geumyeong replied with a meaningful voice.
— Your mother has already received a lot of luck thanks to you. I wouldn't refuse if I could receive more, but...
I wanted to ask one thing of Lee Geum-young right now. Let's keep things simple, not complicated. When I say Happy New Year, just say you wish me the same. Why answer like that and give me a headache? Making me wonder what she's plotting.
Whatever her scheme is... I don't know. Ignorance is bliss.
I'm exhausted just from the phone call. As exhausted as someone who has climbed several high mountains or run a long-distance marathon, I let my body fall back. Not wanting to look at my phone, I pulled the blanket over me and covered it.
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