#83
Han Jinheon has a strange talent. He makes subjects that should never be okay, feel okay. He excelled at luring people by conveying extraordinary words in an ordinary voice.
Is it because I like this man? Is it because his face is my type? Or is it because, unlike my outward appearance, my inner self truly doesn't care about our relationship?
Whatever the reason, I don't feel good. The phrase 'relieve our desires' sounds kind of vulgar. You know what I mean. It feels like I've become just that kind of existence. I'd rather be the younger brother he wants to protect.
“You never take a break, hyung.”
“From what.”
“This mouth of yours. These lips are really….”
The way he says whatever he wants without hesitation is so infuriating.
“When I become an omega, I’m not going to do it with you. Nothing at all…. Why, why….”
As I spoke, glaring at him with narrowed eyes, the man, solid as a rock, collapsed toward me. Before I could be surprised by his mountain-like body leaning in, our lips pressed together perfectly.
“Ah. The beer…!”
The kiss, which was like a stamp, was erased by the beer that spilled due to the alpha’s body leaning onto me. My body shivers slightly from the beer soaking my chest. Of all things, the loosely tied gown had to come undone, revealing my skin.
I scowled, telling him to get away. I put the beer glass down and tried to wipe myself with a tissue, but Han Jinheon only allowed me to put the glass down. He grabbed my arm, preventing me from wiping my chest, and then licked my skin with his red tongue.
“Ugh….”
While doing so, he stares right up at me. I was dazed for a moment by the lewd act he performed so nonchalantly, but I quickly came to my senses, pushed him away, and covered my chest with the gown. I vigorously scratched away the tickling sensation left on my skin.
I'm going to fall for it again at this rate. Again... No. I’m too tired.
“Is that all you have to say? I thought you’d give in.”
“…Don’t you ever get tired, hyung?”
“It’s Christmas.”
“……”
“More importantly, how could I be tired when I haven’t even heard who the guy you like is? Look at the time. There isn’t much time left before Christmas is over.”
So shouldn't you tell me who it is?
His urging voice sounds bored. It’s probably the exact emotion he's feeling. He must have asked tens of times just today, so how sick and tired must he be without the answer he wants.
I want to say it’s you, but would he find it uncomfortable again?
“It’s still Christmas… Because of you, I’m just wishing for this day to end quickly….”
After muttering to myself, my lips just twitched, and then with a sigh, “…Haaa,” I finished the beer in one go. It wasn't refreshing; it was so cold it made my head throb, and my face naturally contorted. It was different from the first time.
“You’re spilling it.”
Han Jinheon wiped the stream of beer that didn't make it into my mouth with the back of his hand, and I tried to ignore his touch. Especially the warmth that came with it. If I didn't, I felt like I would carelessly blurt out that I liked him.
He's just warm-blooded, that's all. They say people with hot hands have cold hearts, so Han Jinheon must see me coldly. Only after calmly collecting my emotions with all sorts of thoughts could I finally speak.
“Now, I’ll really, really tell you…. Who it is….”
“And if you say it’s me.”
“Don’t worry. You told me not to….”
“……”
“I told you before that you wouldn’t like it if I told you who it was, but you said you’d decide after hearing it…. But my thoughts on that haven’t changed. Even if you hear it, you won’t know who it is….”
“We’ll see. I’ll have to hear it to know.”
He scoffs confidently. A confidence that showed he would find out no matter what, even if I said he wouldn't know. He really won't know; this time, I'm more confident.
“The person is….”
I wet my lips, which had gone dry with nervousness.
I thought about drinking more beer, but the beer I had chugged earlier was a landmine. I was already feeling tipsy, so even a slight shake of my head made my vision sway and my head spin. I had to say it before I got completely drunk or passed out.
Someone Han Jinheon would never know. The name that stands in for you. An alpha who is not Song Hyeon-oh or Jeong Seongwoo, whom this alpha suspects, but rather someone who doesn't even exist in this world.
I call out the name for the first time in a long time.
“…Ho.”
“Who? I couldn’t hear you.”
“…Jiho. There’s someone named Lee, Lee Jiho.”
My own name, the me who has been wearing the mask of Han Sol.
“Lee Jiho?”
I nodded my head firmly and guaranteeing it. You wouldn't know me. You could never know me.
***
I woke up a total of three times. Once at dawn because my butt hurt. Once in the morning when Han Jinheon woke me up. And now, once because of a wake-up call from the front desk.
Let's review slowly. My butt hurt at dawn because the alpha pheromones that had been applied to me were withdrawn. Han Jinheon had said, like some kind of judge, that the pain comes when something that made you feel good disappears, and he had diligently applied ointment for me in the dead of night.
In the morning, it was when Han Jinheon was leaving for work. Forgetting the pain, I had been fast asleep, but I forced myself to wake up, had a simple meal, and even took some medicine. Then, in a daze, I sent Han Jinheon, who was neatly dressed unlike me, off to work. Looking back now with a clear mind, I wonder where the medicine and clothes even came from. Did Secretary Song bring them?
I woke up just now because of the wake-up call Han Jinheon had requested from the front desk. The current time was one in the afternoon. I had to get up.
Today was the 26th, the day I had to go get my shot. I should have gone in the morning, but perhaps in consideration of my butt's condition, Han Jinheon had taken it upon himself to postpone it to three in the afternoon.
Secretary Jeong was scheduled to come here by two to match the changed time. I should get up and get ready now so I won't be rushed, but my body feels so lethargic that I just want to lounge around. This feeling was similar to the one that hit my entire body the day after working at a construction site.
Is this really the aftertaste of sex with an alpha? Or is it because it was my first time? How on earth has this body been getting by? I thought about it while rolling around on the bed, then pushed myself up.
Despite his suggestion to wash up before sleeping yesterday, I couldn't. I had passed out, so I had to wash today.
“Ugh. It hurts….”
I had only just sat up, but it felt like every muscle in my body was screaming. If yesterday was a thousand pounds, today was double that. It was as if all the world's gravity was pouring down only on me. I was already exhausted and struggling.
And it’s no wonder. It’s impossible for it not to hurt. Aside from taking something so large into a narrow space all at once, didn't a man bigger and heavier than me press down so I couldn't even move?
Even if my back hurt and the position was uncomfortable, I had to endure it unless the Alpha changed the position. It seems the reaction came in proportion to how much I endured.
Is Han Jinheon that type? During sex, is he the type to restrain his partner rather than letting them be free?
“Ughh….”
My body trembled as I walked the short distance to the bathroom.
I felt like I had recklessly faced the cold outside air wearing nothing but a nightgown. Simply put, it was cold and uncomfortable. The only conclusion was that the chills I’d had for the past few days had gotten worse, and there was only one reason.
The sex with Han Jinheon yesterday was, in many ways, too much. It was ecstatic to cross the line with him, but I wasn't in the best condition to handle a first experience.
And yesterday was Christmas, so I wasn't even aware of my body's condition, and that wasn't necessarily a bad thing. Ignorance is bliss, and I was really fine. Han Jinheon, who had shared his skin with me, didn't notice my condition either.
It's strange to think about it now. But is it okay for the first Christmas we spent together to be so brazen?
Han Sol's first Christmas of his life was having sex with Han Jinheon. For him to bare my butt!
“Ack….”
I stopped while opening the bathroom door and placed a hand on my lower back. There was no way my lower back, which had been overworked next to my butt, wouldn't hurt. Should I say it hurt even more than my butt?
The inside of my cheeks was dry and powdery from the ointment applied at dawn. The alpha’s rough fingers had applied the ointment so meticulously. The memory of his careful touch was so vivid that my face turned red in an instant.
‘It’s not torn, but it’s very swollen. It was a pale pink, but now it’s quite red.’
‘Aargh! You don’t need to tell me that….’
‘It’s your body, you should know. Ah, and don’t get turned on just from me applying ointment.’
As I replayed the embarrassing conversation from dawn, my heart pounded fiercely. He's not the quiet type. He surprisingly says a lot of unnecessary things.
Tapping my lower back, I entered the bathroom and was halfway through taking off my nightgown when I checked the full-length mirror and froze with a gasp, “Haah!”
“Wh-what is all this?”
My body, which I was only now checking, was a mess. Except for my arms and legs which were easily visible, my skin, neck, shoulders, and chest were all reddened or covered in bite marks. I grimaced with worry, wondering if these would disappear by the end of today.
Come to think of it, Han Jinheon was staring intently at my body just this morning. I had hidden myself under the blanket, wondering why he was staring so intensely, but it seems he was admiring the marks he had left.
I was planning to wash up quickly, but I ended up washing with all my might. No matter how hard I scrubbed with a shower towel, it only made my skin pitifully red; the marks didn't disappear.
After I finished washing and came out, I checked the clothes that had been prepared on one side of the hotel room. The clothes I had worn yesterday had been taken away entirely for laundry, so I had to wear the other clothes that had been prepared in advance. Thankfully, they didn't forget to prepare even the torn underwear.
“It's a relief, but….”
As soon as I held up the top to check it, I shook my head. The problem was that the clothes were prepared according to Han Sol's taste. They were in primary colors, had lots of tiny patterns, and even had a huge brand logo on them. I don't know what brand it is, but I do know that this kind of design is a bit embarrassing for me.
If this wasn't a shirt that covered my neck, I would have seriously considered whether I should just wear a long padded coat over my bare skin….
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