Seo Jaehoon gave a weak laugh at my answer. He tapped the table with a smile on his lips. His fingers, tapping the table at a steady pace, aimlessly stroked over it as if tracing something.
“Ha Yeoul.”
“…And, why on earth… I’m not even sure why I’m here.”
“What?”
“I want to go back.”
At my empty words, Seo Jaehoon’s expression hardened. The smile that had been on his face just moments before vanished in an instant, as if it had never been there.
“Where did you say you want to go?”
His voice was lower than before, but I didn’t think much of it.
“I have to go back to where I lived… Damn it, and bring the real Ha Yeoul back…”
“…What?”
“What am I supposed to do here… in this weak body.”
At my muttering, Seo Jaehoon let out a hollow, sarcastic laugh. What’s with him? His well-groomed eyebrows shot up. Watching him, I thought, 'even his eyebrows are handsome.' Every part of Seo Jaehoon was handsome, even the parts that seemed to have no use were handsome.
Things like those eyebrows, his hairline, his Adam’s apple, the blue vein that bulged on his temple. Even now, a vein was bulging on his temple.
I scrutinized Seo Jaehoon as if I were observing something. This foul-mouthed man stared at me for a long time before spitting out curses with his handsome lips. True to his nature, the curse he spat out was quite savory.
This bastard was immaculately handsome, yet he was too good at swearing. The curse that precisely slammed into my ears made me shake my head reflexively. For some reason, Seo Jaehoon downed three glasses of wine in a row. His once-pale skin was flushed red from the alcohol.
“But is this dry? Is this what dry tastes like?”
I lifted my wine glass and asked innocently. But no answer came back to my question, so I gave a slightly embarrassed shrug of my shoulders.
“It doesn’t taste good…”
My words and actions were a bit different. Holding the wine glass, I too drained it in one go. Now that Seo Jaehoon wasn’t refilling my glass, I poured the wine for myself.
* * *
I was being moved, carried on someone’s back. With every step, my vision bobbed up and down. Judging by the familiar scent, it must be Seo Jaehoon.
Pressing my nose to the nape of his neck, I slowly inhaled and exhaled. Every time my breath touched his skin, Seo Jaehoon would occasionally flinch.
I lifted my limp hand and gently rubbed the back of his neck. The ends of his hair were cut in a neat line, and I suddenly found it cute. So I bent my fingers to fiddle with the tips of his hair, then gently scratched the nape of his neck. The skin my fingertips touched was soft.
“You awake?”
“…No.”
“You’re heavy as hell. Shit, you barely eat anything, how are you so heavy?”
His laughter-tinged voice rumbled softly. Seo Jaehoon hitched his body up once as if to readjust me from sliding down. The motion made my stomach lurch.
“…Hah… I’m dizzy.”
“You said it was so delicious it went down smoothly.”
“It… it tasted bad…”
“You were so excited, saying it tasted like grape juice.”
On Seo Jaehoon’s back, I blinked my eyes slowly. Then, suddenly… 'Ah… I’m scared…'
“What?”
“…I’m scared.”
“All of a sudden?”
“That doll… how can a doll move on its own…”
I trembled, recalling the movie’s plot. At my utterly jumbled voice, Seo Jaehoon let out a small laugh. 'Should I buy you a doll?' I heard a low question. I shook my head vigorously. While still clinging to his back. While hugging his neck tightly.
“No… I’m scared.”
I rested my chin on his shoulder as I answered, and unlike me, who had answered right away, Seo Jaehoon nodded his head slowly. I had a feeling this contrarian bastard would buy me a doll anyway.
Seo Jaehoon leaned me against a wall and skillfully opened the hotel door and went inside. 'Has he been here a lot…'
His actions were so natural that I voiced the question I had only been thinking.
“You seem really familiar with this…”
“What?”
Today, Seo Jaehoon seemed even more like a blockhead, repeating my words back to me. I couldn’t tell if he didn’t hear me or if he truly didn’t understand. Seo Jaehoon, who had been smiling faintly at my mumble, lifted me up again in a swift motion and walked toward the inner part of the room.
“I’ll… I’ll walk.”
“You’re drunk. How can you walk when you’re staggering?”
“…I want to walk…”
I was being stubborn for no reason. 'Me, me,' I insisted. Seo Jaehoon answered every one of my protests, but he never let go of the body he was holding. "Just to there, I’ll put you down, I’ll put you down now," he would whisper, but in the end, he never put me down on the floor.
The feeling against my back was soft. The soft sensation of the bedding quickly brought on a wave of drowsiness.
“It’s stuffy.”
I grabbed the collar of my sweatshirt, which felt like it was choking me, and pulled it down. Seo Jaehoon let out a long sigh, whoo, and moved his hands. "I’ll take it off for you." His low voice rumbled.
At his words, I became a little anxious and placed my hand over his as he was lifting the hem of my clothes. As if he had noticed my anxiety, this bastard smiled a bright, sunny smile.
“Why.”
“…Hand…”
“Hand?”
“Let’s just hold hands and sleep…”
I mumbled with completely slurred pronunciation and smiled. I felt my face getting hot. I didn't need to see my face to know it must have flushed in an instant.
Seo Jaehoon stared intently at my face. Without another word.
I endured his heated gaze for a long time before the strange feeling made me look away. As I lowered my gaze and let out a shallow breath, Seo Jaehoon’s hand began to gently rub my cheek.
“Aren’t we both too much of adults to just hold hands and sleep?”
His voice was steady. I couldn’t answer Seo Jaehoon’s question. Instead of an answer, I squeezed my open eyes shut, and I heard laughter from near my face.
His approaching breath settled onto my face. Seo Jaehoon intertwined his fingers with mine, which were lying on the sheet. He held my hand tightly and deeply mixed his tongue with mine, and in the moments his lips would part, he would sweetly whisper, "don’t go."
Had I said I was going somewhere? I couldn’t remember well.
“Hngh—”
“Yeoul.”
“I’m, I’m dizzy—”
My stomach felt a bit unwell. I quickly spat out the words through our parted lips.
“Do you want to throw up?”
Seo Jaehoon pulled his lips away slightly and asked. It wasn’t that… but my stomach was unsettled. I looked up at his dark, glistening eyes and gave a small shake of my head. "I think you have a fever," Seo Jaehoon whispered in a low voice as he kissed me again.
Seo Jaehoon took the hand he was holding, brought it up and wrapped it around the back of his neck, and cupped my cheek. A soft tongue pushed past my parted lips and meticulously licked the inside of my mouth.
It seemed he had no intention of doing anything more, as he persistently clung only to my lips. He would pull my tongue into his mouth and suck on it, then gently nibble on it again.
Perhaps it was something you get used to, this kind of kissing, as I went from letting out soft, breathy moans to clinging to his neck as if he were the only thing to hold onto. A laugh rumbled from within our connected mouths. At the touch of his hand caressing my cheek, my closed eyes opened on their own, and I blinked slowly.
“Your cheeks are red.”
His damp lips pressed gently against my cheek and then pulled away.
“Don’t you have a fever?”
His voice was tinged with worry, and I wanted to tell him it wasn’t a fever, I was just drunk. But the words wouldn’t come out properly from my parted lips. I fumbled to unwind the arm that was around Seo Jaehoon’s neck and placed my hand on top of his that was cupping my cheek.
I shook my head. "No," I think I managed to say the words, but I don’t know if Seo Jaehoon heard me. Seo Jaehoon held my gaze intently before pressing his lips to various spots on my face.
“Don’t go. Okay?”
“…What?”
“Stay here, by my side. Sally’s at home too, so where would you go?”
This bastard had been repeating “don’t go” like a parrot for a while now. Where on earth did he think I was going…
“I’ll feed you only good things. So you can get healthy.”
“…Crazy… stop grinding things up…”
“Stay by my side, Ha Yeoul.”
Seo Jaehoon called my name, coaxing me gently. I accepted the feather-light kisses that fell on my face and nodded. I thought I was getting sleepy.
“Ha Yeoul, I like you.”
“…Yeah.”
“I like you.”
Drunk on Seo Jaehoon’s low, rumbling voice, I drifted off to sleep. My fading vision was filled entirely with Seo Jaehoon.
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