I moved my trembling legs and crept towards the door. I pressed my ear close to the door and held my breath again. Only now could I hear the faint voices a little more clearly.
Are they fighting? I could hear a conversation mixed with curses. What is it?
I pursed my lips at the unnecessarily rising tension and pressed my ear even closer to the door. Why did it suddenly get so quiet...? I was puzzled by the sudden silence outside and focused a little more.
And then, with a click, my room's doorknob turned. The doorknob... My eyes followed the movement a beat late.
...Life's a bitch.
Like an idiot, I fell forward as soon as the door opened. It was because my body's center of gravity was entirely focused on my toes.
"...Ah...!"
I was embraced by someone who had just opened the door, and I froze like a statue. What a mess. No, more than that, who is it?
I awkwardly swept back my hair, wet with a damp towel, and raised my head.
"Are you okay, Yeoul-ah?"
Mo Taehee looked at me with a face full of worry and a hint of annoyance, like Nam Kangwoo.
Do I look okay? I wanted to ask, but as always, I held back and shook my head slightly.
"I'm not okay."
I muttered in a voice barely audible. Mo Taehee's eyes flashed with annoyance and then changed in an instant. What do you call that? How can I describe it? I quietly met Mo Taehee's eyes, then lowered my gaze again.
I should be the one who's angry. Not you... not you. I glanced at Mo Taehee and Nam Kangwoo behind him, and bit the inside of my cheek.
Fortunately, Seo Jaehoon wasn't visible. A stroke of luck, or just luck?
"Aren't you hungry? You've been sleeping all day, your fever kept rising, so I gave you a lot of antipyretics. Do you want to eat something, even just a little?"
Mo Taehee swept back my hair, which was sticking to my face with moisture. My mouth tasted bitter. Actions that I used to dismiss as, "Why are these crazy bastards so eager to touch me?" were now all related to what Seo Jaehoon had done to me.
"...I'm not hungry. What are you guys doing here? Min-ah... where did Min-ah go...?"
I deliberately didn't mention Seo Jaehoon's name and asked about Min-ah. Mo Taehee sighed softly at my question and said that she was spending time with Seo Jaehoon.
"...That's a relief."
I stood awkwardly, still held by Mo Taehee's hand, and straightened my body.
"Yeoul."
"...Huh...?"
I was unnecessarily wary of Mo Taehee's expression. I don't know why I'm being so cautious, but my body, as if well-trained, was checking these bastards' moods first.
"Do you want to eat something?"
Mo Taehee asked again in a gentle voice. Gentle and warm. Because of that, I felt a little sad. My nose tingled.
But then, a thought suddenly popped into my head, and I shook my head. No, this bastard is just as scary. I steeled myself and carefully pulled away from Mo Taehee's grasp.
"I'm just going to... take a shower."
"Then let's eat after you shower. You've taken too much antipyretic..."
Mo Taehee unusually trailed off, and Nam Kangwoo leaned back on the sofa and sighed deeply. In the uncomfortable and uneasy atmosphere, I retreated back into my room.
"Yeoul."
"Ha Yeoul."
They both called my name at the same time.
"You... you guys go too. Just... just leave me alone."
I... again, uttered a line that a tragic heroine would say to them. It felt strangely familiar. I think I recited this exact line to them last time too.
I cleared my throat a few times and slammed the door shut.
"...Please go."
I muttered, hoping that someone beyond the door would hear.
That night, I unexpectedly had the room to myself. Contrary to my expectation that the stubborn bastards would take turns coming into my room, no one came. Not even Park Min-ah.
Thanks to sleeping all day, the later it got, the more awake I became.
I sat alone on the living room sofa and looked at the park that Park Min-ah said was pretty. I could vaguely recall Park Min-ah's face, smiling more beautifully than the night view while looking at it.
I was like that for quite a while, and when I checked the time, wondering what time it was, the hands were already pointing to 2 o'clock. I wondered when the time had passed like this.
After sitting blankly for a little longer, the decision to go out in frustration was quite impulsive.
I took out the windbreaker hanging on the hanger and put my arms through the sleeves as they were. I moved towards the front door with a limping gait.
I stared blankly at the neatly arranged shoes and burst out laughing. You tidied them up so well. I put my feet into the shoes neatly placed on one side, and as I opened the front door, a beep echoed through the quiet hallway.
My heart pounded for no reason. As if someone would come out.
I moved my head from side to side, checking my surroundings as a habit, and pulled the hood of the windbreaker over my head. I desperately wanted to get out of this place as quickly as possible.
Yeah, if there's ever a time for me to run away, maybe it's now.
My pace quickened. I stopped in front of the elevator and pressed the button repeatedly.
"Hurry, hurry, hurry."
I muttered to myself.
The elevator, which felt disgustingly slow because it was dawn, finally made an announcement sound as if it had arrived.
The clear chime spread through the quiet hallway. And then, somewhere in the quietly settled hallway, the sound of a door lock being released echoed.
Ominous. I didn't even think about checking behind me and got into the elevator as it was. And then, as the next action, I naturally pressed the close button repeatedly. Again, muttering, "Hurry, hurry, hurry."
Just as I was about to let out a low breath of relief, feeling relieved by the sliding elevator door, someone's toes came into view in slow motion. I also saw a hand suddenly entering through the elevator door, which was now only about a hand span away.
"Where are you going?"
A familiar voice too.
I couldn't move my body as if I was frozen. What, how did he know?
I stared blankly at the hand that had entered through the gap in the door and slowly raised my head. The speed at which I raised my head was similar to the speed at which the elevator door reopened.
"A... walk..."
"At 2 a.m.?"
"...I couldn't sleep..."
I felt nervous. Even though I didn't do anything wrong.
At my absurd answer, this bastard stared at me quietly and then moved his feet. I wish you would go back to your room... I thought. But I tasted a little familiar frustration at the situation that never went the way I wanted.
My roommate 1, who was looking at me with an somehow unknowable gaze, got on the elevator without hesitation and pressed the close button and the 1st floor button.
"...Are you... are you going with me...?"
I stammered and asked.
"I couldn't sleep either."
Nam Kangwoo answered nonchalantly.
I remembered something I had forgotten for a moment. All these bastards had sharper hearing than my grandfather and were earlier risers than my grandmother.
I sighed deeply without realizing it. Shit... what about the timing to run away. I still couldn't escape from these bastards' grasp.
Nam Kangwoo walked ahead of me. Matching my pace. My body lost strength. I thought I had finally regained my energy, but... my body felt like it wasn't my own.
I walked slowly through the park with long rows of streetlights, and when I felt like I couldn't take it anymore, I approached the bench in front of me. I felt like I didn't care anymore. I just sat down and rubbed my forehead, and cold sweat soaked through.
Nam Kangwoo didn't sit on the bench I was sitting on, but instead sat on the bench next to it. I was a little grateful for that without realizing it.
I raised my knees on the bench and put my chin on my prominent knees. The air was good because it was the countryside. The dawn air was mixed with the smell of soil, grass, trees... and a fishy smell of water.
I slowly exhaled and slowly closed my eyes. It would have been better if I was alone. It's not like I had a way to run away at this time, but what was Nam Kangwoo so anxious about that he followed me?
Actually, it wasn't that I didn't have the mind to run away, but I thought I probably wouldn't have been able to put it into action. Because I didn't have any money. And thanks to these light-sleeping bastards, I couldn't even take a walk as I pleased.
When I thought about those things, I laughed absurdly. Because it was ridiculous.
I had been closing my eyes and lost in other thoughts for quite a while when I heard footsteps from the side. The rustling sound of dirt and small sand being stepped on was particularly loud. The closer it got, the louder the sound became.
"Ha Yeoul."
"..."
"Yeoul."
I don't know why he keeps calling my name out of the blue. Even Nam Kangwoo.
"Yeoul-ah."
Nam Kangwoo uttered my name several times. It sounded a little sad because it was dawn. Is it because it's dawn? Or is it just because I feel this way that it sounds like that?
Instead of answering the call, I opened my closed eyes and met Nam Kangwoo's eyes. The body that had been hot all day calmed down in the dawn air.
Nam Kangwoo didn't seem to have anything to say, so he just kept looking at me. Then he slowly bent down, knelt on the floor, and lowered his eye level.
"I wish you were okay."
"..."
"But that would be difficult. So I just wish you would forget."
"..."
"But I think forgetting would be even harder."
Nam Kangwoo's voice settled quietly.
Nam Kangwoo had a sorry look on his face, even though it wasn't something he had done. I couldn't find a suitable answer, so instead of giving an answer, I blinked my eyes slowly.
Nam Kangwoo placed his hand on top of my trembling hand. Instead of holding my hand, he tapped the back of my hand with his long, straight fingers.
"You..."
What did I want to say? A word that couldn't become a word was stuck in my throat.
"Yeoul."
"You too... are you too...?"
Nam Kangwoo seemed to understand. I thought Nam Kangwoo would definitely understand the meaning contained in the words I was asking. And.
"...I'm sorry."
Nam Kangwoo's answer, which I also thought I would understand, came back. I just laughed. A little sadly.
I'm going through all this because I'm possessed against my will.
_________
t/n : unlock more chapters on my ko-fi^^