As expected of a businessman who needs to be well-informed about the world, Han Jinheon, who had been staring only at the TV screen, finally looked at me. Did he even hear what I said? He just showed a completely expressionless face before abruptly speaking.
"Espresso."
"Huh? Espresso?"
"Affogato with vanilla ice cream."
"Are you talking about what you want to drink? Are you asking me to make it?"
Han Jinheon drily curled the corner of his mouth as if to say I was sharp, then quickly let it fall.
Jeez. Joking around so pointlessly. He suddenly brought up espresso, making me wonder if there was a pheromone with such a scent. Forget it. Rather than listen to such a bizarre answer, I should just think about what my pheromone scent will be on my own.
When I glared at him, Han Jinheon pulled my earlobe, making my head turn away from him.
"Whatever your pheromone is, don't think about causing trouble with it, and as for imprinting... ah."
"Huh?"
"Whether you imprint or not is up to you. It's not my place to interfere."
"Weren't you about to tell me to imprint?"
"I almost spoke without thinking. Whether you imprint or not is your decision."
Han Jinheon tried to pass it off as a slip of the tongue, but for some reason, I wanted to latch onto his words. Imprinting, huh.
"What if I want to imprint but there's no Alpha who will imprint with me? What if they say they don't want to do it with me? Are you going to step in for that too, hyung?"
"If you want me to."
"What will you say when you step in? 'Why won't you imprint with my brother?' Are you going to grab them by the collar and shake them?"
Just imagining it is so reassuring and fun that a laugh escapes me. Unable to hold it in, I chuckled, and Han Jinheon roughly ruffled my hair, asking what was so funny.
"What about you, hyung? If you... find an Omega you want to imprint with, will you do it? Will you ask them?"
"Who knows."
"Cha Seonmin... you didn't want to with that actor?"
"No. I tend to view feelings and imprinting as separate."
"But there are things like that... like the other person unilaterally imprinting on you... if they love you desperately all by themselves..."
Imprinting was usually based on mutual consent, but occasionally, one-sided imprinting was found in cases where one person loved the other desperately.
Even if one-sided imprinting was a term used in mockery, it was rare, not appearing unless it was a truly world-altering love. And because it was perceived to have fewer side effects from dissolution than mutual imprinting, it was mentioned significantly less among people.
"It's hard to imprint with just emotions. There needs to be a certain degree of physical contact. The basic condition for imprinting is that a certain amount of the other person's pheromones must accumulate in the body."
"Ah... that's difficult."
So it's not just about emotions. Physical contact is necessary too. Even if I study, these gaps in my knowledge appear. I'll have to take time to study properly later.
Han Jinheon turned his gaze from me and started watching TV again. I tried to follow his lead and focus on the screen again, but my vision blurred. It was the most difficult moment of the day.
My thoughts stop and my eyes flutter shut. The longer the cozy feeling and warm heat from Han Jinheon were transmitted, the more my consciousness began to drift away. Even his body scent and the smell of fabric softener wafting to my nose contributed to my consciousness slipping.
'Boring.' I was about to fall asleep but didn't want to miss this precious time, so I forced my eyes open and looked up at Han Jinheon. This time will soon disappear. I have to enjoy it. When things are boring, I just need to look at something interesting.
He's really handsome. He's not flashy, not classically handsome, and not trendy either. He's just elegantly handsome, like Han Jinheon.
How is his name even Han Jinheon? He's a man who suits his name, with its strong final consonants.
"Have something to say?"
"Huh? Something to say... yes. I do."
I was just looking at him, but I was so flustered I ended up saying yes. What should I ask? My eyes trembled behind my lowered lids as I pondered. Since this man keeps talking to me about Kim Gyuyoung, I should also ask him something I'm curious about regarding Cha Seonmin.
"Hyung, when did you get over your feelings for actor Cha? It couldn't have been when you heard the news of his marriage."
"Around the time I brought you from Jeju Island."
"It's been quite a while, then? Are you okay?"
"What do you mean by that?"
"Literally what I said. He was someone you liked... sorting out one's feelings isn't as easy as it sounds."
"I thought so, but it was easy. Maybe it's because they were already being sorted out before then. It's true that Cha Seonmin is a good younger brother, but at some point, I wasn't sincerely keeping him in my heart."
"Not sincere? You, hyung?"
"Why, am I not allowed to be insincere?"
Of course not!
The charm of this novel was the tantalizing atmosphere between the main character and the second male lead. The tension that made your heart melt, where they maintained a line but could cross it at any moment, was what many people loved. That's why the second male lead seemed more mature compared to the main lead who just recklessly charged ahead.
But now, it felt like I had discovered a plot twist I wasn't supposed to know. I was as confused as if I had heard a spoiler for a movie I hadn't seen yet.
"You're the one who made me insincere."
"Me? Wh-when..."
"Consistently, ever since I found out about Kim Gyuyoung."
"......"
"The guy who always loses to my brother started to just look pathetic to me one day. How could that possibly be love?"
Ah. So Han Sol didn't just ruin his own love, he ruined his brother's love as well. He dragged his brother down.
"I'm sorry."
Even though it wasn't my doing, I felt terribly sorry. If it hadn't been for Han Sol, what would have happened between Han Jinheon and Cha Seonmin? Wouldn't he have fought to win him over? Even if the ending was already set.
"I didn't tell you to apologize."
"I know. But I'm still sorry..."
Han Jinheon studied my face. As if he needed to know what I was thinking, what feelings I had, and what my intention was in apologizing, he looked into every part of me before letting out a low sigh. At that sigh, my lips closed. I couldn't bring myself to look at him, so I lowered my head.
"Hyung..."
But that didn't mean I wasn't going to speak. I was, goddammit, talkative.
"Do you have any thoughts of meeting another Omega? Or a Beta... They say one love is forgotten with another."
I glanced at Han Jinheon. His eyes were on the screen.
"I won't get in your way no matter who you meet. Never..."
I made a vow and a promise to the unresponsive Han Jinheon.
It hurts my heart to think that this Alpha might one day meet a nice Omega and fall in love. The thought that the other person can't be me makes me feel like my insides are collapsing. Still, I can cheer for him more sincerely than anyone. I could do that because I liked him, and I only wanted to do that.
"You're handsome and rich, hyung. You're mature and dependable... You step up to take care of a worthless brother like me... Han Jinheon is a good person."
'He's a really good person.'
Han Jinheon, who had been flipping through channels as if there was nothing he liked, put the remote down. I looked at the remote that had fallen onto the sofa, then back at Han Jinheon. By the time I realized he was staring directly at me, I had already flinched.
'That startled me.'
"A good person."
"......"
"Seeing as you're being so noisy with all sorts of chatter, it seems you don't want to receive pheromones quietly. I finally understand my dear brother's intentions."
"Huh?"
He lifted the hand he had on my shoulder, grabbed my hair, and pulled my face close to his. Then, after slightly tilting back my very bewildered head, he pressed his lips against mine.
"Eu, eub...!"
That was the third time today. After two strange pecks, this time he kissed me.
He unhesitatingly pushed his tongue between my lips, which had parted due to my head being pulled back. Meeting my completely stiffened self, the long, round flesh, though rough, tangled softly and swept through my mouth in an instant.
Lips. Tongue. Kiss.
Following my first peck, my first kiss also became Han Jinheon's.
Han Jinheon, who had pushed forward without caring about my frozen reaction to that fact, stopped devouring my lips. He must have found it strange that my tongue wasn't moving and I wasn't breathing. He pulled his lips away and twitched an eyebrow.
"Why are you making this so boring? It's not like you don't know how."
At his casual voice, my mind, which had left its post, returned. What kind of shameless comment is this after stealing my first kiss? And how brazen can he be after kissing his own brother?
"What on earth are you doing to me...! How could you kiss your brother...! A-are you crazy?!"
As I shouted in a heightened state of agitation, Han Jinheon covered his ears and answered calmly.
"I'm not crazy. You were chattering away so noisily, I just thought you were asking for a kiss."
"Who thinks like that!"
How could you kiss me, your own brother, for such a reason? And how can you be so nonchalant after going as far as to kiss me? Even if I understand everything and can accept a peck, this is not it.
A kiss is not something for us!
'It's not, it's really not... but why do I like it so much I could die?'
I'm going crazy. The fact that I was kissed by Han Jinheon is so thrilling that my mouth feels like it's about to split into a wide grin, and I feel like a hideous laugh is about to burst out. I decided I couldn't stay here any longer.
First, let's get out of here. Usually, that was the right thing to do in these situations.
If it was an unconsented kiss, the person who was kissed was supposed to leave the scene to calm their heart, and the person who did the kissing was supposed to understand that action and not hold them back.
But theory and reality were different. Han Jinheon was not one to be trifled with. He grabbed my wrist as I tried to leave and sat me back down beside him. Even when I struggled, telling him to let go, he wrapped his arm around my waist, immobilizing me.
Compared to what he had done, his reason for holding me was simple.
"There's still time left, so stay still."
It hadn't even been an hour since I started receiving his pheromones.
He had acted irrationally, but his reason was quite rational. My face crumpled, and I was about to ask him if he was making any sense, but my words got stuck in my throat. His point was so valid I had nothing to say.
Han Jinheon saw me fuming and let out a small laugh.
"You must be wondering why your hyung is doing this to you. You're probably thinking, 'Was he a person capable of such things?'"
"......"
"It was easy once I put my mind to it. I just had to realize there was no need for me to be any different from the guys you've rolled around with. I thought, 'this guy and that guy are all the same,' so I figured I could just become one of them."
"......"
"So, I figured it would be fine if I was just an Alpha, not your hyung. You try it too, just for this moment. In front of me, try to be a Beta, not a brother. An Omega would be fine too."
'Just an Alpha, not your hyung. Just a Beta, not a brother.' Those words meant that, just for this moment, we should forget our sibling relationship.
This man is saying dangerous things. I had decided to sort out my feelings, doing my best no matter how much it hurt or how much I regretted it later. If there was one thing I had resisted on my own, it was this physical contact. The most legitimate reason I could put forth to resist was that we were siblings, that we were committing an immoral act.
But he... a gulp of saliva goes down my throat at his cunning proposal.
"Let's do well tomorrow. Like you said, this is a warning."
Han Jinheon whispered softly, brushing my lips with his thumb. Feeling the heartbeat that had transferred along with his touch, I met Han Jinheon's black pupils. A strange light twinkled in them. I was sure that the heartbeat was my own, which had become utterly thrilled.
***