***
Still, you couldn't call it a kiss. It wasn't a kiss. That was all it was.
I came to a conclusion as I crunched on a crispy red velvet cookie. My mind had been filled with nothing but Han Jinheon all day. I was still wrestling with the strange peck he had thrown at me this morning before leaving, trying to figure out what it was. Well, since there was no sucking or anything, it must have been a peck.
I shook my head, reaching for a different flavored cookie this time.
"Han Jinheon is so strange..."
I mean, yesterday. Putting everything else aside, what was so cute about me asking him to pay the taxes and maintenance fees that made him laugh like that? There was nothing cute about it at all.
Not only that, but I'm curious about what exactly Han Jinheon finds cute about Han Sol. I could understand if he complimented Han Sol for being pretty without much explanation. It's a universally known fact that Han Sol is beautiful. But calling him cute is difficult and confusing whether I should even be happy about it.
Maybe there isn't a specific reason. A reasonable suspicion arose that maybe he sees me as cute because I'm his younger brother, a whole ten years younger. Or maybe because he feels sorry for me. Could it be that he perceives his pity as me being cute?
"Hmm... I don't like that..."
It's much better if it's because of the age difference. If he sees me as cute out of pity, then in the end, it means he sees me as nothing more and nothing less than a pathetic case.
"Why is this so delicious?"
The cookies were so good I found myself talking aloud. The Earl Grey ones especially suited my palate, and I was eating them nonstop without a second thought. I looked them up online earlier, and the price was close to eighty thousand won. I wondered who would buy cookies for that much, and it turned out to be Han Jinheon.
"He said it's what he used to give Cha Seonmin..."
Before popping the cookie in my hand into my mouth, I found myself examining it closely. I knew about these cookies. I didn't know when I first received them, but an episode came to mind as soon as he told me about Cha Seonmin.
It was what you might call Han Jinheon's gift-giving struggle. For the sake of Cha Seonmin, who said he didn't want to accept gifts because they were a burden, Han Jinheon gradually lowered the price of his presents, which eventually resulted in cookies. Cha Seonmin had thanked him, saying he would enjoy them during filming or while traveling in the car.
Reading that part, I had felt Cha Seonmin was a fool. If a rich person offers you a gift, just take it. He was someone who didn't know how to spend on himself. Because he had that in common with me, I had become even more immersed and felt a sense of disappointment.
The cookies, one of the links that connected Han Jinheon and Cha Seonmin. Seeing in person something that had appeared in the story's development felt more strange than moving. It wasn't refreshing either. I couldn't purely enjoy it because it felt like a gift he thought of through Cha Seonmin, rather than a gift he thought of entirely for me.
This version of myself feels unfamiliar and arrogant. Whatever it was, I should have just appreciated Han Jinheon's desire to praise me, but I acted too childishly. What was with me childishly saying the cookies weren't to my taste and asking for a cake instead? Did I even say thank you? I can't remember.
If Han Jinheon saw me now, polishing off the cookies until they were almost gone, he would probably laugh his head off...
I should stop eating, but my hand won't stop. This time, I picked up a chocolate-flavored cookie and took a bite. Just as the crispy sound echoed, Han Jinheon's voice struck my ears.
'Try to be moderately cute. What are you going to do if your hyung can't guard your hole because of this?'
For a moment, I thought Han Jinheon had really come home and stared like a meerkat at the hallway connected to the entrance. Then, realizing it was just my imagination, I let out a sigh and slumped down.
That startled me. Just how deeply did those words from yesterday get ingrained in my mind for them to surface so vividly?
"The problem isn't being moderately cute... it's about we should pecking moderately..."
That was already the third peck. How did we end up pecking? Wasn't it to find out who I like? But then it was to absorb the pheromones more deeply, and because I was cute...
I wonder how many times we'll do it. Will we end up kissing? Will we go further than that? And if we do, will I be able to handle it? Can I keep myself from telling him I like him and properly sort out these feelings? No matter how I look at it, I've tripped myself up.
'I will.'
My consciousness drifts back to the strange peck from this morning. A dry laugh escapes me. He said it was bothersome to give a warning, but he didn't forget and announced it. I didn't realize it then, but looking back now, Han Jinheon is cuter than I am.
Was Han Jinheon always this type? I quietly reflect on the original story. There was definitely no skinship. He never once even brushed his lips against Cha Seonmin's. Could it be because the other person was Cha Seonmin? Was it because he cherished the person he liked so much that even their lips were precious and he had to be careful?
If that's the case, it's quite hurtful. Cha Seonmin is precious and I, his brother...
"Wait. Am I... jealous of Cha Seonmin...!"
Gasp! You crazy bastard!
I was so horrified I dropped the cookie I was holding without thinking. I've completely lost my mind. I've reached a ridiculous conclusion. Even if I like Han Jinheon, who am I to be jealous of anyone? As if I have the right to be jealous of Cha Seonmin.
As a devoted reader, this was an absurd notion, and I shook my head vigorously. I quickly picked up the fallen cookie, scraped up the crumbs to clean them, and then checked the time. It was past three in the afternoon.
There's still some time before Han Jinheon gets off work, so I should watch a movie starring Cha Seonmin now. I can't let my pathetic jealousy tarnish my admiration for him as a fan. I needed to get my discipline back in check.
The movie I chose to watch starred Kim Gyuyoung and Cha Seonmin, and it was, needless to say, fun and thrilling. I had already seen it once, but watching the same story again wasn't boring at all. I wanted to watch it not just twice, but a third time; the director, screenplay, acting, budget, and everything else that made up the film created a synergistic effect.
The only drawback was that Cha Seonmin was a supporting actor, so his screen time was short. Kim Gyuyoung was one of the main leads, so his screen time was overflowing, but Cha Seonmin only appeared when he needed to, which left you wanting more.
Every time Cha Seonmin appeared, as someone who had read the original novel, I sympathized deeply. He was a truly great actor. Han Jinheon's eye for choosing him and pushing for him with such conviction was not wrong. It's cruel that someone with such looks and acting skills couldn't become famous just because he was an Omega. If it were me, I would have wanted to make him a star too.
Though it's a huge relief that he's now a top star who makes headlines just by breathing.
"You damn handsome bastards...!"
As a scene with Kim Gyuyoung and Cha Seonmin came on, I immediately grabbed the remote and hit pause. It was a scene where Kim Gyuyoung, a government agent, had come to capture Cha Seonmin, a former agent who had turned traitor. This scene was famous not only for the two of them facing off but also as a shot that highlighted each of their individual charms.
Kim Gyuyoung perfectly showcased his classic, dazzlingly handsome acting, while Cha Seonmin captivated the audience's eyes and ears with a slick performance that went beyond his usual neat image. The witty back-and-forth dialogue combined with action made it a truly memorable scene.
The action in this movie was different. Usually, the action we know involves using fists or shooting guns. To go a step further, one might use knives or bombs. But the director of this movie tried something new. Pheromones. They weaponized pheromones to attack their opponents.
In reality, attacking with pheromones could at most physically intimidate an opponent or sexually arouse them. Even then, it didn't apply to Betas and was only effective on those with a trait.
What would my pheromones be like?
If I also become an Omega and gain pheromones, I could probably pressure someone and sexually arouse them. The question here was, could I arouse Han Jinheon? What if he doesn't like my pheromones? What if I get all worked up, but Han Jinheon isn't aroused at all?
"Haa..."
Just the thought of it was so miserable that a sigh escaped me, but it would be helpful. For sorting out my feelings for Han Jinheon.
"Healing and killing, I see. Judging by your sigh, it must be boring?"
A few seconds after the low voice cut through my subconscious, I realized that I hadn't misheard and that someone had actually asked me a question. Turning my head, the face that appeared in my line of sight was an incredibly familiar one.
"Hyung! When did you get here?!"
The moment I saw Han Jinheon's face, I checked the time again. I thought he had come home very early, but he hadn't. It was his usual time to come home from work. I hadn't been focused on the movie, but lost in thought, so I didn't even notice him coming in. He's already a person who hides his presence well, so I should have been paying attention around the time he gets off work.
"Just now. You can keep watching."
Han Jinheon was looking at the TV screen, not at me. My eyes followed his, and realizing the situation, I bit my lip. What absurd timing. Coincidentally, the paused screen was completely dominated by Kim Gyuyoung. It was a scene with Cha Seonmin, but Cha Seonmin's presence was only marked by his hand grabbing Kim Gyuyoung's collar.
"Kim Gyuyoung."
Just three words, yet they dripped with coldness. We weren't even in a three-way confrontation, but my heart was pounding. It's not the first or second time he's said Kim Gyuyoung's name, so why am I so nervous?
It's probably because it looks like I got caught watching it in secret. The reason I started watching this movie was to reaffirm my admiration for Cha Seonmin, but as luck would have it, Kim Gyuyoung is the one radiating presence on the screen.
I think I should turn off the TV. I had to struggle to find the remote I had carelessly tossed aside after pausing the movie. It was nowhere to be seen.
Han Jinheon approached me as I fumbled, lifting cushions to find the remote. He stood with the sofa between us and rested his arm on its back. Leaning his body against it, he spoke.
"It's confusing. You said you got over your feelings?"
***
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