FVB - Chapter 50

Tonight, I decided to have dinner with Theo in the bedroom for the first time in a while. Ever since my true identity was revealed, Theo had been arranging for us to eat in the bedroom or study, perhaps because I was making people uncomfortable. But lately, Theo had been so busy with work that he often skipped dinner or ate late.

It's not like anything would happen if a divine beast skipped a meal, but Theo absolutely wouldn't let me skip meals, so I had to make sure to eat even when he couldn't. Thanks to that, it had been several days since we had eaten together.

The first day Theo was busy and skipped dinner, I waited for him to eat together, even if late. As soon as he returned to the bedroom, Theo said.

"What? That won't do. If Shuian skips meals waiting for me, I'll be so worried that I won't be able to focus on work."

"I'm a divine beast, so it's okay if I skip a meal..."

"I'm not okay with it. So you have to make sure to eat on time."

I often pretended to be on the verge of collapsing if I skipped even one meal, but Theo probably knew better than anyone that it wasn't true. 

He must have felt guilty that I was skipping meals because of him. I really didn't care if I skipped one meal or went hungry all day, but I didn't want to see Theo upset, so I had to take good care of myself, even alone.

"It's nice to eat together after so long."

"I'm sorry for making you eat alone all the time."

"No, don't worry, I eat well on my own. I'm more worried about Theo not being able to eat properly..."

If Orca heard that, he would definitely call us dramatic, saying that we could go without food for days and still be fine.

Just like a few days ago, Theo didn't seem to be in a good mood throughout the meal. Was he tired because he had a lot of work? I was quietly observing his face when Theo suddenly looked up, as if sensing my gaze, and asked:

"I heard the Saintess came earlier."

"Ah, yeah. She said she came to see me."

"What did she want to talk about?"

Most of it was useless chatter, but what Ariel ultimately wanted to say was that my divine power seemed to be torn. 

She didn't know the cause, but according to Ariel, it had recovered since she first saw me. Even if it hadn't, I hadn't had any major problems living so far, so I didn't think there was any need to worry him by telling him.

"Um... she just said she wanted to talk to me since she first saw me. So she said that if she gets permission from Theo next time, she'd like to have tea with me. By the way, about the clothes that Lia is making..."

I felt guilty for lying so much lately, so I obviously changed the subject, but fortunately, Theo didn't mention it further.

ꕥ

Lately, Shuian's attitude had been strange. At first, it was just a simple suspicion, but now I was sure that he was hiding something from me.

It started simply. One day, I thought it was strange that he kept avoiding my gaze, and that was all. I had some free time and thought I'd have tea with him, so I went to the bedroom, but Shuian wasn't there.

"Where's Shuian?"

"Ah... he's probably in the greenhouse. He seems to be going for walks often these days, as if he's been feeling cooped up. I'm taking good care of him, so don't worry too much."

Orca knew that Shuian had gone to learn how to make cakes from Eden, but he couldn't say that directly, so he made up an excuse. 

His tone and actions were so awkward that he himself realized it, but Theodore was so focused on the fact that Shuian had been feeling cooped up that he didn't notice Orca's unnatural behavior.

"...Okay."

After that, I returned to the study. It was something Shuian had agreed to, but I knew that he had been confined to the room because of me, so I couldn't go to Shuian in the greenhouse. 

It felt like I was disturbing his alone time. Of course, I believed that he would smile brightly when he saw me suddenly appear in the greenhouse, but on the other hand, I was a little afraid of seeing a slightly embarrassed face.

Theodore stared at the red cushion placed on one side of the desk. The cushion that Shuian liked the most was still being washed by the servants every day, but in reality, there was no need to do so. Shuian had hardly been in the study with me lately.

I took out the memory of Shuian sleeping on the cushion and added it to my vision for a long time, but I still couldn't focus on work, so Theodore returned to the bedroom earlier than usual. But even then, Shuian was still not there.

After a while, when Shuian returned and showed a happy expression when he saw me, I felt relieved. Or maybe I was a little resentful.

"Theo! Are you done with work?"

"You should hug me first."

So I deliberately acted more spoiled and craved affection. I had to confirm that the warmth in his arms and the affection he had for me were still the same.

"I heard you were feeling cooped up because you've been in the room all this time. I heard you've been going for walks often lately."

"Ah, did you come earlier?"

But seeing the embarrassment on his beautiful face, as if he had been caught doing something he shouldn't have, the questions I had been burying all along began to emerge.

Does he want to leave? Does he want to go back to that forest, but is hesitating because of me?

'Does he want to leave me?'

No, that can't be. He said she would stay by my side, that he wanted to be by my side. Theodore hugged the lovely person as if to trap him in his arms.

"If there's anywhere you want to go, tell me anytime. Let's go together."

If you want to leave, you have to take me with you. You were the one who said you would stay by my side, so you can't abandon me.

"Yeah, of course. Don't worry."

Even after hearing that refreshing answer, my pounding heart didn't calm down.

My head was a mess with all sorts of thoughts, and my heart, which had been beating wildly, didn't know how to calm down. 

Theodore knew what to call this. Even though he didn't know affection or love, there was no way he, who had been living in constant anxiety, wouldn't know this feeling.

I knew this would happen. From the moment the mysterious and beautiful bird flew into my life, I expected to collapse helplessly at the slightest thing. Even so, it was painful and scary.

When I went to find Shuian after hearing that the Saintess had come, I could only watch the two people laughing from afar before turning away. 

When I asked what they had talked about over dinner, he awkwardly changed the subject, but I couldn't ask any further. 

He had been feeling cooped up all this time, and now he was finally able to take even a half-hearted freedom by taking walks in the garden. I was worried that he would find even me, who was trying to pry into every little thing, annoying.

You're so kind that you're always sweet, so maybe you'll be happier with someone like the innocent and pure Saintess, who hasn't properly learned what love is, rather than someone like me. 

Is that what you've realized too? Now, even if I deny that it's possible, I can't stop the thoughts that are spreading out on their own.

What if you really want to leave me? If I take poison, will you stay by my side a little longer out of pity? If you still try to leave, should I lock you up? My nature, which would rather destroy you than lose you, even made me have violent fantasies.

Then I found out that Shuian was gone again. Theodore decided to go find Shuian without hesitation. If Shuian, who I happened to run into, smiled at me as happily as he always did. And if he ran into my arms, everything would be okay.

But if, by any chance, I were to see a troubled expression. Then at that time...

Theodore left Orca, who was calling out to him urgently, and headed straight for the garden. But Shuian was nowhere to be seen, and neither was the glass greenhouse. 

The look of dismay on Orca's face, who followed him, was obvious. Could it be that he left? Already? Did he leave without giving me even a chance?

"...Where's Shuian?"

Even so, I had to ask. Believing that what I was thinking hadn't happened.

"Your Highness, that... well..."

"Tell me the truth."

"You can't tell Shuian that I told you. Promise me."

"Okay."

"He's... in the kitchen."

"...The kitchen?"

Only then did he realize that something was wrong. If Shuian had left, Orca would have been the first to report it to me. Even though Orca had kept Shuian's affairs a secret from me, he seemed more embarrassed than afraid.

"Not the dining room, but the kitchen?"

"I don't know anything."

It was absurd that he was pretending not to know until the end. I absentmindedly looked back to see if Orca had ever acted like this before, but nothing came to mind. 

It seemed like he was avoiding my gaze on purpose, hoping that I would go and check for myself rather than ask him more questions, so Theodore moved to the kitchen.

I couldn't even guess what was going on. The kitchen? Why the kitchen? I was so confused that when I arrived at the kitchen in a hurry, I witnessed a scene that didn't correspond to any of the countless imaginations I had had.

"No, is this how you do it?"

"The method isn't wrong."

"But why does it look so weird?!"

"That's because Lord Shuian's skills are..."

"Are you saying it's my fault?!"

"Wouldn't it be wrong to blame me...?"

Shuian was urging Eden with cream all over his face and hands.

"It's his birthday today, so I can't give him something like this...! What should I do?"

Birthday? I chewed on that awkward word for a moment and then realized that today was my birthday. Theodore, who was about to enter the kitchen, couldn't help but stop.​