Orca's mother, who had always been frail, passed away shortly after giving birth to Mellisa. Her father had never been interested in the family, so he was the only one to take care of the orphaned infant.
At first, he seemed worried about what to do, but as time went on, he naturally came to love her. Orca held Mellisa more often than even her nanny.
Thanks to Orca's care, she grew up well even without parental love. She relied on and followed her only brother the most, and she loved the moment her brother affectionately called her Shasha. Every time she was called that, she would smile as happily as could be.
The reason Orca learned how to make flower crowns and rings wasn't particularly special. One day in the past, Shasha came home crying after going out.
One of the children she was playing with had boasted about a flower crown their mother had made for them, and she was very sad about it.
Orca immediately asked the maids and the young ladies he often interacted with how to make flower crowns. He practiced secretly on his own, and when he could make them reasonably well, he took Shasha to a nearby hill and made her flower crowns and rings.
He still vividly remembered how lovely Shasha looked, smiling with the flower crown on her head and the flower ring on her finger. Orca's face naturally broke into a smile as he recalled that day.
"There was someone who liked things like that."
She was a child he loved so much. He had raised her with such care, as if she were his own daughter. Could he ever have imagined that he would take that brilliant life with his own hands?
His father, Mason Abel, was not satisfied with the baronet title and sought power, wanting to rise high. However, he lacked the ability to distinguish rotten stepping stones, so he volunteered to be the Empress's dog, and was eventually used as a pawn and discarded.
It would have been fortunate if it had ended with just being abandoned, but after being branded as a traitor, stripped of his title, and having the name Abel erased from the noble registry, Mason was executed in the Empress's way, his tongue cut out.
Orca was conscripted as a slave soldier to be a meat shield at the forefront of monster subjugation, and Shasha was sold to a brothel.
The complete downfall happened in just one day. It was a sin to have coveted something beyond their station, but even so, they paid a harsh price.
Shasha begged Orca to kill her, saying she couldn't bear to live with the humiliation. Unable to refuse the request of the child who was crying so sadly for the first time, Orca willingly stained his hands with blood.
He buried her in a place where no one would find her, lest they desecrate her body. Fortunately or unfortunately, the Empress didn't care much about the fate of innocent prisoners, and they didn't dig up every place looking for Shasha's body.
He didn't remember well what happened after that. He seemed to have been thrown into the midst of monsters with flimsy armor and a sword, cutting and cutting again. He wielded his sword to survive, not knowing whether it was day or night.
Despite his persistence, there was an end. His body, blackened and dying from demonic energy poisoning, wouldn't move as he wanted, and his vision was blurred, making it hard to tell whether what was in front of him was a monster or a person.
Eventually, his thigh was pierced by a monster, and he couldn't even run away. On the verge of death, Orca met Theodore for the first time.
At that time, Theodore was a person who didn't care about anyone's death. Perhaps not even his own. He had survived like a bug, as the Empress had said, and had come this far, but he always asked himself. Was it right to live like this? Was it right to struggle to survive and then fall back to the brink of death again? In that terrible cycle, Theodore was gradually wearing down.
Then he met Orca. He was one of the dozens who died every second, but the difference was that Orca grabbed Theodore's pants as he passed by indifferently.
'Save me, please save me. Empress, if I could just kill that damn woman, I'll do anything... I'll be your shadow, your sword, your meat shield, whatever it takes, please save me...! I can't... I can't die yet!'
Couldn't die? A smile, or something like it, was drawn on Theodore's face for the first time. Yes, he couldn't die. He had survived so miserably, he couldn't just die easily. Since they had dragged him into this mess, they should at least get their feet wet in hell.
Theodore willingly drew his sword and cut off the head of the monster that was trying to devour Orca alive. Orca, sprawled on the ground, took ragged breaths and barely lifted his blurred vision to look up at Theodore.
'Until we drag them to hell, let's both survive tenaciously.'
Theodore, standing proudly on the battlefield where screams rang out everywhere and blood splattered with every step, suddenly looked like a demon. Orca liked that, and he smiled without realizing it.
Yes, he could finally smile.
After that, Orca swore allegiance to Theodore and returned to the Imperial Palace. He was recognized for the false merit of saving the Prince's life and became a baron, albeit a low-ranking one, and became the Prince's adjutant and guard.
Naming Abel as his family name, which had already been erased from the registry, was nothing less than a vow of revenge.
Orca didn't care if the world burned to the ground, or even if he was burned alive, as long as he could kill the Empress. From the moment he killed Shasha, who was like his own child, with his own hands and buried her in the cold ground, he was as good as dead.
"Lord Shuian, have you ever experienced losing someone precious?"
Despite the sudden question, Shuian answered without much agitation.
"Yes, I have. A long time ago."
The way he raised the corners of his mouth as he finished speaking was so awkward that he looked more like a puppet strung on a thin thread. Orca carefully examined his face.
The unfamiliar face, with soot-like shadows clinging to it, was more alien than his silver-clad appearance. He didn't know what had been burned and left behind, but it was definitely so terrible that it wouldn't be washed away by time.
"...How precious were they?"
"Well, I don't think I've ever thought about 'how much'. You know, things like saying they were the most precious thing I had, that I would die without them, that they were more precious than my life, are just feelings you have after you've lost them."
Shuian asked calmly.
"Orca, have you ever been grateful for being with someone precious? Have you ever thought those times were precious? I haven't. When you think about it, it's just a natural thing, so it's not surprising. That's why you only realize it after you've lost them. I had something very precious. I lost that precious thing because I didn't know how to be grateful."
He didn't know how special it was when he had it, and only realized its value after he lost it. Orca was the same. He had lived his whole life thinking he was smart, but he was actually a fool who didn't know anything.
He thought he would always be with Shasha. Even if Shasha met a good partner and got married in the future and became a little distant, he thought he could always see her again, so there would be no eternal farewell.
But he realized too late how foolish that judgment was. If he had known in advance, he would have cherished her more.
He would have engraved every moment in his memory as if it were the last day. No matter how much he cherished her, it would never be enough now.
"I thought death was a perfect end. Everything ends, and no opportunity is ever given again. But it's not really like that. At least for those who are left behind, it's not the end, but a new beginning."
Shuian turned his head and looked down at the clover again.
"It doesn't seem like anything has changed. I breathe, eat, and sleep the same, but nothing is the same. Except for one thing, I'm still alive and I have to live on."
After the family fell and Shasha died, life changed as if heaven and earth had been turned upside down. It wasn't just about the way of life or the form of being a noble turned slave soldier.
"So, if you ask me how precious they were, I don't really know. But I would answer that everything changed after I lost them. Orca, was it like that for you too? Did a lot change?"
"...Yes, it did. As if I'm not myself anymore."
Orca felt like he had met someone who understood his life for the first time. Because his life had been like that. So Orca laughed like a sigh.
He was so glad to have met his first understander that he felt like he was going to cry. If Theodore was his agent of anger and revenge, Shuian was an understander of pain and suffering.
Orca picked up the fragments of hope that had been shattered at the end of despair. He gathered them until his hands were calloused, and he desperately protected them even if his whole body was ground down. As the shape gradually took form, a realization flashed through his mind.
'I wouldn't regret dying for these two people.'
It was enough to have someone who would carry out his revenge and to have his righteous anger and wounds acknowledged.
"Haha."
It was a dry laugh, but it was definitely joy. Shuian tilted his head at the sudden laughter, but Orca didn't care and raised the corners of his mouth as he said.
"Would you like me to teach you how to make flower crowns if that's what you want to give His Highness?"
"Can you teach me? Aren't you busy?"
"It's alright."
"Then teach me."
"If you practice a few times, it will look quite decent. I'll pick out some good clover for you."
Orca readily knelt on the ground and willingly rummaged through the dirt with his bare hands. Just like when he buried Shasha's body in the frozen ground after killing her with his own hands.
The face of Shasha, who was crying sadly, became a little blurry in his mind.
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The Empress stared at Ricardo's still pale face with disdain before turning her head to look out the window. She couldn't believe that her son was so weak and naive, mistaking flattery for goodwill and not even being able to watch the Count's execution properly.
"Why didn't you stop his death?"
"Why did you think I should stop it?"
Ricardo, resentful that the Empress didn't answer his question properly and instead asked him back, hesitated for a moment before answering.
"He was... a loyal man."
He actually wanted to say that he was a good person, but he knew that it wouldn't be persuasive to his mother, so he spoke indirectly. A small smile appeared on the Empress's lips, as if it wasn't the wrong answer.
"But why did you let him die?"
"There is no such thing as complete loyalty. In fact, all relationships are nothing more than transactions. If I have something to gain from someone, I must also give something in return. The goodwill he showed was the same. So, there's no need to feel sorry or worry about it."
Ricardo suddenly thought of Shuian's anger. Then what did that divine beast want to get from Theodore that made him angry for him?
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