I habitually pressed the door lock and opened the front door. The house was dark. Since there was no one else to turn on the lights, it was always dark and cold when I came home. I took off my shoes and went inside, turning on all the lights in the house first, so that not even a sliver of darkness could remain. Only then did I feel a little less alone.
Should I order in today, since I'm feeling lazy? I flipped through delivery apps with familiar motions. It felt like I would be scolded any second for ordering in again, but the surroundings were suffocatingly silent.
'This isn't right.'
Even though my monotonous daily life was flowing along without any major incidents, I suddenly felt that conviction.
Living alone was both difficult and easy. For the first while, I wasn't used to it, so I went through some trial and error, but soon I became accustomed to earning a living and taking responsibility for everything on my own.
However, I just couldn't get used to the loneliness. The fact that I was the only one who would turn on the lights in the dim, lifeless house, that there was no one to worry and put their hand on my forehead when I was so sick I couldn't even get out of bed, that I left the house saying goodbye to the empty air that wouldn't respond. I couldn't get used to any of it. That's why living alone was both easy and difficult.
After my family all died, my life alone was just quiet and desolate. All I could do was let it flow like a buoy drifting with the waves. I realized for the first time then that death is the end, but for those left behind, it's another beginning.
I never found a reason to live. I had close friends I could contact and meet easily, friends I could rely on, but that didn't mean their existence could be the reason for my life.
It's not that I wanted to die or wanted to live. There were times when I wanted to die, and times when I wanted to live a happy and fulfilling life that was the envy of others, so it was more like a whim. So I lived. I was too scared to die, and I didn't know how to live happily. But just living was easy, so I just lived.
Then I was hit by a car, and I closed my eyes willingly at the brink of death. Living because I was living, and dying because I had to die, that was the entirety of my life.
The feeling that the meaning of life was completely evaporated by just being left alone in the world was a very strange sensation. It was as if there was no reason to stay in 'this place' any longer.
'This place?'
I suddenly looked up, struck by a sense of déjà vu. It was like I had thought this before...
'Come back to me.'
ꕥ
I slowly opened my eyes. Even though the curtains were drawn, sunlight poured through the gaps. I looked around habitually, and my gaze stopped on a pair of gentle red eyes.
"Shuian, you're awake."
What brings you to wake up so early today? I blinked at the kind question. I'm not alone. Right, I'm not alone. With that realization, I immediately got up and hugged Theo. Theo chuckled and patted me, thinking I was just being fussy in my sleep as I rubbed my cheek against his neck.
"Why are you being so lovely from this morning?"
"...Just because. Are you working in your office today? Aren't you going anywhere?"
"I don't have any special plans. Ah, I do have one thing this evening..."
"What is it?"
Theo gracefully lifted the corner of his mouth. He kissed my forehead when he saw me smile along.
"The Ipha Festival starts today, and Orca happens to have obtained some magic potions. I hope Shuian isn't busy this evening... so you can go to the festival with me."
"Gasp, I'm not busy! Not busy at all! So we're going together today?!"
"Yes, but don't get your hopes up too much. It's a festival for commoners, so it won't be as good as the banquet we went to yesterday."
"It's okay!"
This will be fun! Theo smiled again as he watched me get excited.
Orca brought the magic potion after lunch. He said it took some time to get the magic potion I would normally use because my hair and eye color were so unique. So I can be in human form normally?
"The magic potion is effective for about 5 hours. The time is cumulative, so if you're running out of time, you can take several. Please let me know when you're running low, and I'll prepare more."
"Thank you."
"You're welcome."
Orca, who looked very tired, handed over the magic potion and immediately went back. I heard he likes animals... should I let him pet me?
"Theo, would it help Orca if I let him pet me a little?"
"What?"
Theo's face instantly hardened at my unconscious words.
"No, I mean, like, as an animal therapy kind of thing..."
I tried to make excuses in a hurry, realizing my mistake, but it wasn't very effective.
"Absolutely not. Where are you going to let him touch?"
"Not touch, but just..."
Ignoring my desperate excuses, Theo reached behind me and stroked me from the nape of my neck to my waist. Even though I recoiled at his slow touch, he didn't release the hand that wrapped around my waist.
"You're going to allow Orca to do this?"
"I meant when I'm an eagle..."
He didn't even answer, as if he wouldn't listen to any of my protests, and eventually I had to surrender to him as he held me in his arms and fiddled with my earlobe.
"Okay, I get it...! I won't! I definitely won't!"
"Really?"
"I promise!"
"Good, you thought well. I'm the only one who can touch you. Right?"
Theo pulled me tightly into his arms and let out a satisfied, rumbling laugh. Or… was that a growl? Maybe it meant he wouldn’t go easy on me next time. Flustered, I buried my face in the crook of his neck to hide my burning cheeks.
…Guess I’m as good as married now.
(t/n :장가는 다 갔네 = It’s often used playfully when someone realizes they’re emotionally committed or deeply attached)^^
ꕥ
After eating dinner and resting for a while, we decided to go out in time for the festival. First, I changed into clothes that commoners would wear, and I was about to take the magic potion, but I couldn't bring myself to do it.
I mean, it would take a lot of courage to put that incredibly thick, purple liquid in my mouth. This... it even looks like it's bubbling....
"This... is it okay to drink?"
"How about I try it first and you drink it if it's okay?"
"Ah, no..."
No matter what, I can't use the prince as a taster.... I opened the lid of the magic potion and sniffed it. Fortunately, it didn't smell too bad.
After taking a few deep breaths, I closed my eyes tightly and poured the potion into my mouth all at once. The sticky texture was unpleasant, but fortunately the taste wasn't bad.
"How is it? Did it change?"
Instead of answering, Theo led me to the mirror. The color gradually changed from the scalp, as if paint was being poured from above.
"Amazing..."
The magic potion was supposed to change me into the most common brown color, but my appearance, with even my eyes turned brown, was quite awkward.
While I was looking at myself in the mirror, Theo must have taken the magic potion as well, because the color was changing from the roots. Theo tilted his head as I stared up at him.
“Uh… can’t you do something about being so handsome? You still stand out like this…”
So what if the color is common? His face is shining, so he'll stand out anyway. How many people would think of Theo, with his extraordinary appearance, as a commoner? Unlike my troubled heart, Theo smiled shyly.
"You think I'm handsome?"
"Very handsome. Pretty and cool, you're everything. Didn't you know?"
"I haven't really thought about it, but it's very nice to hear you say that."
"Theo doesn't even look in the mirror."
Theo smiled contentedly as I grumbled, and kissed me briefly on the cheek.
"Not as much as our Shuian."
"No, that's...!"
It was a joke to tease me for looking in the mirror often because I was still amazed by my human form.
Looking in the mirror wasn't a crime, but the thought that it might seem like narcissism made my face flush again.
"...I'm really not playing with you."
"It was a joke. I would have lived in front of the mirror every day if I were you. I wouldn't be able to stand not seeing this beautiful face."
The taciturn final boss was unexpectedly eloquent, and he was a difficult opponent for me, who was not yet used to speaking. So it was best to just avoid adding more words.
"Okay! Let's go quickly!"
Something suddenly popped out in front of me. It was Theo's hand. He held out his hand and stared down at me.
Um... so he wants to hold hands, right? But we're not even dating? Do people just hold hands with close friends here...?
Regardless of my worries about whether people would think it was strange, my hand was already in Theo's hand.
I felt awkward and pretended to look away, so Theo started walking ahead as if he was willing to play along.
Since we were secretly going out, we chose a plain and simple carriage. It was definitely not as comfortable and was slower than the one we usually rode, but it had its own charm, so it wasn't bad.
"Now that we have the magic potion, we can go out more often. We don't even need to wear a hood."
"Then we can go for walks more often now."
"The greenhouse will be finished soon too. Let's call my exclusive designer and have the clothes remade."
"Huh? No, there's no need to do that. I like the clothes I bought last time too."
My mood sank when I thought of Anne, but I forced myself to smile. Right, it's a good day. I selfishly suppressed the memories of that day.
Comments Box