Orca returned while I was despairing over the diary. He sat across from me and placed a plate full of salmon in front of me.
"His Highness will be returning late today. I will inspect the diary in his stead."
"...Why is he coming back late?"
A sense of ominousness enveloped me as he hesitated to answer. It seemed he wasn't going to tell me easily, so I decided to be firm this time. While it was undoubtedly true that Orca was on Theo's side, hiding Theo's affairs from me was a separate matter.
"The clothing store yesterday. I let it slide."
Orca flinched and scrutinized my expression, as if checking if he had correctly understood my ambiguous words. Of course, I had noticed the clothing store incident because of the smell of blood, but I deliberately spoke vaguely, leading him to believe that I knew everything as a divine beast. Just as I wondered if this method would work, Orca stood up and immediately knelt.
"I am sorry. I had no intention of deceiving Lord Shuian."
I was taken aback by the more intense reaction than I had anticipated, but I tried to maintain a composed facade. In any case, now was the time to seize the initiative.
"That doesn't matter. But you mustn't hide Theo's affairs."
It would have been more effective if I could have spoken more fluently, but this was the best I could do with my childish vocabulary.
"I will keep that in mind."
"Get up. I'm not angry."
"Thank you for your mercy."
Orca, after bowing his head briefly, sat down. Sigh, it's a bit uncomfortable, but there's no helping it.
"So, where's Theo?"
"...He is subjugating monsters."
"What?"
Monster subjugation? Could it be the monster subjugation I'm thinking of? Seeing my bewildered expression, Orca hurriedly added,
"It is not a dangerous task. It is merely a periodic subjugation carried out for the achievements of the Knights led by His Highness, not a formal expedition, so he will return tomorrow."
"Why didn't you tell me? I could have gone with him."
So far, all I had caught were rabbits and three wild dogs, and the knights who came looking for Theo, so I didn't know how helpful I would be in dealing with monsters and demonic beasts... But from the start, my greatest use was symbolic, so accompanying him to such an event would be enough. But why?
"...This is not something I can comment on. However, please know that it was a decision made out of concern for Lord Shuian."
As I became complicated and didn't answer, Orca, looking at me with a troubled expression, cautiously broached the subject.
"The First Prince's birthday banquet will be held soon. You will have to attend in the form of an eagle, but how about matching accessories with His Highness as a set?"
He's talking about couple items in this situation! I was tempted, but it didn't ease my sullen mood. In any case, it wasn't something to get angry at Orca about, so I nodded weakly.
"Later. We'll see."
"I will find some and when His Highness returns later, you can choose together. I will prepare something that you will like."
Orca, who had failed miserably to lift my spirits, turned away with an awkward face, and I finished yesterday's diary and wrote today's date on the next page. There was only one thing to write below it.
[Theo. Big dummy. I'm not playing with you anymore.]
Even in my gloomy mood, my writing skills were still terrible.
ê•¥
As Orca had said, Theo returned to the palace early the next morning. Having heard about what happened yesterday, he was immediately wary of me, but I was determined not to let it slide, so I covered myself with the blanket up to my face and lay still in bed.
"Shuian."
Hmph, does he think I'll just let it go? He smelled of fragrant oil, as if he had washed, but the lingering smell of blood made me feel even worse.
Theo, approaching, sat on the bed and gently stroked the blanket.
"I know why you're angry. But it wasn't important, and it wasn't very dangerous for me. As Orca said, it's just a periodic show hunt to gain achievements, and it wouldn't take long, so I wanted to let you rest."
"No!"
I threw off the blanket and tossed it aside, jumping out of bed.
"Theo doesn't know why I'm angry at all."
"That can't be."
"Am I untrustworthy because I'm a divine beast who can't even catch one... one fish?!"
I even shouted in a fit of pique, and Theo chuckled, trying to hold back his laughter. You, are you laughing now! Sensing my gaze becoming even more fierce, Theo hurriedly waved his hands and added in defense.
"That can't be! Shuian, how can you say such harsh things?"
Just as I was about to retort, my body suddenly turned into an eagle, unable to withstand my anger.
"Screech-!"
No, it's better this way! Instead of turning back into a human, I flapped my wings and perched on the roost attached to the ceiling. It was a position that even the tall Theo couldn't reach.
"Shuian!"
I turned my body away and buried my head under my wing.
The protest continued until evening. Without looking at the clock, I, who used to ask for food when it was time, skipped breakfast and lunch and didn't come down from the roost, so Theo was anxious and paced around me, neglecting his work.
Orca, who brought dinner, also looked very troubled. Then, Ricardo's birthday banquet, which Orca had mentioned yesterday, suddenly came to mind.
In the original story, the heroine Ariel first appeared at Ricardo's birthday banquet. In terms of timing, Ariel would have already awakened her divine power at the hunting festival and finished her meeting with the Empress.
It may have been twisted due to my existence, but the Empress would likely have chosen Ricardo's birthday banquet as the most appropriate place to introduce Ariel. Her appearance would be earlier rather than later.
I came down from the roost for the first time and turned into a human. Theo was delighted, but I pulled the hood attached to my clothes over my head.
"At this banquet, someone who will become Ricardo's helper will come. I'm not sure, but."
"A helper?"
"The Saintess of the Vita Order."
Orca, surprised, asked back.
"I know that the Order has been in contact with the Empress recently. But the Saintess..."
"That's what I mean. She will continue to be the Saintess in the future."
The Saintess was, so to speak, a temporary position, but in the end, Ariel would be called the Saintess, not a high priest or a cardinal.
Within the Vita Order, which was deeply connected to the nobles and had intense political conflicts, there was no way Ariel, an orphan with no connections, could attain a higher position.
The Pope and the existing cardinals judged that it would be better to coax a naive priest and give her the position of Saintess and use its symbolism than to share the pie. It was not something we could stop, and it was not important right now.
"Orca, leave the meal there and investigate the Saintess."
"Understood."
Orca left the bedroom, and after a moment of silence, Theo spoke first.
"Shuian, show me your face."
At his pleading tone, I hesitated and took off the hood I had been wearing deeply.
"How did you know that the Saintess would come to the banquet?"
"I don't know, I must have found out by accident."
Looking at Theo's face, I felt like my anger would subside, so I fixed my gaze on the floor and answered with a pout. I pretended to answer sullenly because I was angry, but in fact, it was a difficult part to talk about.
It was much better to answer that I just knew as a divine beast than to answer that this was a novel and I knew because I had read the original before I died.
"Are you very angry?"
"...A little."
"I couldn't help it."
"Why?"
"It's not a lie that it wasn't dangerous. However, I was afraid that you would get hurt. So I thought it would be easier for me to go alone. What can I do if you have become so precious to me? Whether you are an eagle or a divine beast, you are just precious and dear to me."
"What about me? Isn't Theo precious to me? Wouldn't Theo worry if I went out without saying anything and didn't come back for a while?!"
At my angry shout, Theo, startled, looked at the window, afraid that I would really leave in a fit of anger. That appearance was both affectionate and frustrating.
"You could have told me. Why do I have to worry about Theo here? It's not like I'm going to follow you and do something."
"What if you get hurt again? What if you get hurt more than when you fought the wild dogs, more than when you were hit by an arrow in the wing?"
Theo looked terrified even as he spoke. The only thing that made him, who was not afraid of getting hurt, getting sick, or even dying, was me.
"I was alone then. Theo, are you going to let me be in danger?"
"That can't be."
"Theo will protect me, so why would I be in danger?"
For the first time today, I approached him. If I felt sorry for him, who looked like a sulky black panther who had been starving all day with his eyebrows furrowed, was I completely smitten?
"I told you. I will always show Theo the right path. I believe Theo will protect me. So, Theo, believe in Theo. If you can't believe in Theo, just believe in me."
His usually firm red eyes were fluctuating as if they had been hit by a sudden storm. I tried to control my weakening heart.
I didn't decide to stay here to live comfortably in a world where destruction was certain. I came to pity him, whom I met by chance, and eventually became fond of him. Before I could name the form of my emotions, I wanted to help him. I wanted to be a little bit of luck in his life, which was full of misfortune.
I wanted to be his luck. Not a precious jewel placed in a jewelry box, but a guide who leads him to the right path like Dux in mythology. So, we had to move forward together.
"We will always be okay. So, let me protect Theo too."
Theo, who had been staring at me for a while, came closer. And while he hugged me in his arms, we didn't say anything.
Even after becoming human, my body temperature was higher than other people's, so it felt good to be in contact with Theo, who felt cool, but wouldn't Theo be hot? He carried me around so much even when I was an eagle.
"Yes, I will always protect you, so you protect me."
Theo, who had buried his lips in the crown of my head, laughed like a sigh.
"I think I'll still worry."
"Yeah, I know. I always worry about Theo too."
If that word "worry," just a little bit, sounded like "like," would that just be my wish?
I pretended not to know in the end, but I already knew the name of my emotions. No one knew how long this clumsy denial would last.
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