"T-Theo, the pen..."
"There are plenty of pens, so don't worry. More importantly, are your hands alright?"
I didn't think an eagle's body would be that strong, but if a seemingly sturdy pen breaks this easily, his strength as a human must not be entirely useless. Thanks to that, I have to focus on controlling my strength before even learning how to hold the quill properly.
Theo dusted off the fragments on my hand and carefully checked for injuries. After cleaning the area with magic, he brought out another pen.
"Here, try holding it again."
I vaguely recalled my studying days and lightly gripped the pen. Remembering how Theo held it, my grip didn't seem different from how I used to hold my pen, so controlling my strength was key. I tried to use less force than before, but the pen slipped, so I quickly gripped it tightly again.
Crack-!
The pen broke again. I bit my lip, starting to get frustrated, and Theo chuckled as he brought another pen.
"Our Shuian is about to get angry again."
"...I'm not angry."
"Really?"
"...Really."
"Alright, let me teach you."
Theo, as if teasing me, asked again and then stood behind me, placing the pen in my hand and overlapping his hand over mine. Theo's hand covered mine, following its shape, and his chest pressed against my back. It was hard to tell if he was teaching me how to hold the pen or just hugging me from behind. I-is this position right?
"Apply a little pressure, like you're doing now..."
He held my hand and lifted the pen, lightly dipping the nib into the inkwell. Then, he wrote something on the paper. The elegant letters written by him and me were the first thing I ever learned: our names.
[Theo, Shuian.]
He liked the nickname I gave him, preferring to be called Theo rather than Theodore, so he taught me to write Theo first.
Okay, everything's fine, but... isn't this position a bit strange?! I could even hear the thumping of his heart, echoing from his broad chest that completely covered my back.
'Wait, is that my heartbeat?'
I tried to subtly pull away, but Theo finally let go after writing his full name under our names.
"Do you understand now?"
"...Yeah."
Well, I definitely know that my heart is beating very healthily... I tried to calm down while Theo returned to his seat, but it wasn't easy. Right, the heart is an involuntary muscle...
Scratch- Scratch-.
Listening to the steady sound of Theo's pen, I tried to hold the pen as he had taught me. But I couldn't remember the shape of his fingers, or how much force he used to grip the pen.
All that remained vividly in my senses was the warmth of his broad chest against my back, the feel of his palm covering my hand, the calm breathing above my head, and the refreshing scent of the forest. Troublesomely so.
In the end, I only managed to write one line in my diary before Theo finished his work for the day. And that was just the date and weather. Theo tilted his head, looking at my empty diary.
"Should I wait until you're done?"
"Uh... no, I'll write in my room."
It's because of you that I couldn't write...! Since I wouldn't be able to concentrate anyway because of the earlier thoughts, it seemed better to go back to my room and write.
Theo nodded and picked up my diary and pen. Whenever I had something to carry, he always insisted on carrying it for me, no matter how small or light, as if he thought my arm would break if I held anything.
"I can carry it..."
Instead of handing me the items, Theo slipped his hand into mine and intertwined our fingers. I froze at the sudden hand-holding, and he raised the corner of his lips as if enjoying my reaction.
"Uh-oh..."
Don't tell me he's going to go out like this? Why are you doing this to me today...!
"I didn't wash my hands..."
"Neither did I, so it works out."
I couldn't think of any more excuses, so I was stuck holding his hand. No, don't be flustered. I'm an eagle. Theo is just fond of his pet eagle, so don't be self-conscious. But, as expected, I could feel my cheeks burning.
"...Theo, are my cheeks red?"
Theo bit his lip, trying to suppress a smile, and turned his head before looking down at me again. Sorry, but I can see your lips twitching...
"I don't want to hold hands."
"Oh dear, my mistake. My Shuian is so grumpy."
Theo, trying to appease me, playfully kissed the back of my hand a few times and opened the door to the office. I was so distracted by our intertwined hands that I unconsciously tried to hug Theo before going out into the hallway, a habit from when I was always sitting on his arm or being held in his arms as an eagle.
"...Ah, I'm a person..."
"Pfft...!"
Theo finally burst out laughing. The knights guarding the office looked back and forth between our intertwined hands and Theo's smiling face, looking as if they were being strangled.
"Don't laugh! I'll go alone!"
I was about to transform into an eagle and fly away, but before I could escape, Theo quickly picked me up. Despite my not-so-small size, he easily lifted me, his lips still curved into a gentle smile. T-this position... Oh my god, a princess carry.
"P-put me down!!"
"No. You'll run away, obviously."
"I won't run away...!"
"Hmm, I need to be able to trust you."
"That's too much!"
I struggled for a while, but Theo's strong arms didn't budge. Right, I'd probably be crushed by these arms faster than escaping them... Eventually, I gave up and relaxed my body, and Theo smiled in satisfaction and finally started walking. He's the strongest in the world, and his stubbornness is the strongest too...
ꕥ
Shuian fell fast asleep in Theodore's arms, seemingly embarrassed by his struggles. Come to think of it, it was always like that. He would complain and whine, but in the end, he would always give in to Theodore. He found that endearing.
Theodore, walking slowly so as not to wake Shuian, suddenly thought of his mother. The woman who had never once called him by his name. Who never spoke to him first, and whom he had never made eye contact with, so he didn't even remember the color of her eyes.
Once, long ago, Theodore had woken up from a nightmare and, terrified, had gone to her, knowing he would be rejected. She had always looked at her child with indifferent eyes. That was probably the first time they had ever made proper eye contact.
'I had a nightmare... I was scared, so I came...'
Her just watching him silently, without any reaction, was more frightening to young Theodore than a fiery outburst. He whimpered and unconsciously took a step back, but just as he was about to turn back, she gestured for him to come closer.
She spoke to the child, who had come closer to the bedside, in a dry voice.
'In my country, there is a spell to cast whenever you have a nightmare. If you cast the spell, the nightmare will no longer torment you.'
Then, she touched his forehead and the tip of his nose, and closed her eyes. What followed was a language he had never heard before, so it really did sound like a spell. The only word he could understand was the last one.
'Sweet dreams.'
Theodore, who had been holding his breath in shock, could finally breathe after she moved away.
'Th-thank you, uh... Mother too, sweet dreams...!'
He left those words behind and ran back to his room. It felt as if the temperature of his entire body had moved to his forehead and the tip of his nose, where she had touched him. Surprisingly, he really didn't have any more nightmares that day.
After that, Theodore never went to her room again, even if he woke up from a nightmare. He knew that day was just a midsummer night's dream, or rather, a whim or charity, and that it would never happen again.
Perhaps, just once. If he was rejected dozens, hundreds of times, such a miraculous thing might happen again, but he wanted to leave the good memory as it was.
That day, too, a very large moon had risen, just like today. Theodore muttered softly and touched Shuian's forehead and the tip of her nose.
"Shuian, sweet dreams."
That was the only blessing he knew and could give.
ꕥ
I woke up in the bedroom, having fallen asleep in Theo's arms. Theo wasn't there, so I lazed around in the empty bed, basking in the sunlight, until a knock on the door made me sit up. Orca came in.
"Lord Shuian, you're awake."
"Where's Theo?"
"...He's away on business for a while."
I narrowed my eyes at the hesitant answer. Something's fishy... He quickly changed the subject when he saw my suspicious look.
"Shall I prepare a meal for you?"
I decided to let it go for now, even though it was very suspicious. There's no way he would have gone anywhere without me, whom he always carries around like a leech.
"Later."
"Shall I prepare some light snacks for you?"
"Then salmon."
"Understood."
"But Orca, aren't you busy?"
"I am very busy. But serving Lord Shuian is something only I can do, so I have no choice. But how did you know I was busy, as a Divine Beast?"
"You don't need to be a Divine Beast to know that."
"Why is it that only His Highness doesn't know that..."
It's not that he doesn't know, it's that he pretends not to know... No, I shouldn't say that. I sat down at the table while the dejected Orca went to get the salmon. It was to finish the diary I couldn't write yesterday. Alright, let's really write it now!
[Theo bought me clothes today. A lot. Pretty. Very satisfied.]
...Is this real? I was going to show off my writing skills, which are better than a human's, but this looks like it was written by a bird brain. You're not just a bird brain, you're a Divine Beast...! Come on, brain, do your best...! I can't let him see this!
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