TCS - Chapter 19
Ray’s voice trailed off wistfully, his expression tinged with loneliness, making him unrealistically beautiful.
Could an infant angel in a holy painting look like that? Honestly, I was a little mesmerized.
Perhaps it was because he was so pretty when he looked like that, but I couldn't help but feel more concerned.
'How could guards do such a thing?' What profit could they gain from such a barbaric act... 'Huh?'
My eyes trembled slightly at a sudden thought that came to mind while I was badmouthing the wicked people.
The guards definitely had no personal gain from harming Ray.
His wealth wouldn't go to them if they harmed him, and wasn't the fate of a guard who harmed their liege death? It was all loss, no profit.
'But what if someone other than them benefited?'
For example, what if someone else was their true lord, not Ray, the lord they were only pretending to serve...
'Gasp!'
My fingertips turned cold at the thought that surfaced in my mind.
Before the thought could fully form, I tried to erase it, almost screaming.
'I don't know anything about this. I don't want to get involved.'
Even though Ray was my benefactor and I felt sorry for him, I had a strong premonition that getting involved in this would lead to big trouble.
It was a feeling that not just me, but my entire family would be in danger.
So I tried to take a step back, but...
"I have no idea why they attacked me. I'm... only the fourth prince with almost no claim to the succession."
Aaaaargh! That look touched my conscience.
Although I wasn't a knight myself, as the daughter of a knight family with a respectable knight order, I had grown up hearing since childhood that I should protect my lorf and the weak... Ray was young and weak.
Ray was young and vulnerable. Plus, he was a direct family member of the emperor, their lord. So, surely, helping him was the right thing to do…
'...The perpetrators are likely other members of the lord's family.'
That was right. The only people who would gain if something happened to Ray were them.
The people who could become the guards' true lords instead of Ray, the prince.
'No, how could siblings...?'
As far as I knew, except for one princess born to an imperial consort, the rest of the princes were born to the empress.
The princess had a low possibility of succeeding to the throne because she was the consort's child, and above all, the consort...
'Has no ambition.'
The princess was the same. She was a typical woman of this era who wanted to marry into a good family and live comfortably rather than pursue the throne.
There was no reason for her to bribe Ray's guards. Therefore, the only people who could be the culprits were Ray's own siblings.
'Not all families are like ours, but...'
I imagined. What if my eldest brother or second brother, jealous of me being the only daughter and receiving all the love in the family, resorted to foul play? Apart from feeling betrayed, I would be incredibly sad.
"...Bad."
People. Honestly, I wanted to swear stronger, but I hadn't lost my reason to that extent.
Cursing the imperial family was too great an impiety to be dismissed as a child's mistake.
Ah, what should I do? I knew I shouldn't, but I couldn't stand it.
I wanted to help Ray.
What was so important about the throne that it had to make this child go through such a terrifying experience?
However, an issue related to the succession was not something I could handle alone.
At the very least, my family, and at the most, the entire clan including the collateral branches, could get caught up in it.
And the worst possible outcome that could be faced as a result...
I bit my lip. My heart kept leaning towards helping, but my reason clamped down on my mouth, telling me absolutely not to.
I could get caught up in other fights, but not a fight for the throne.
At best, I'd be a close aide to the next emperor, and at worst, my family would be destroyed.
Amidst the fierce conflict between my heart and my head, Ray, seeing my expression, smiled sadly.
It was a face that looked even more sorry towards me, who couldn't voice my refusal.
"I know my position is too precarious... and that it's not good for me to come and meet Seiana like this..."
"..."
"But... I don't have any friends and no one I can trust... But Seiana helped me even though she didn't know anything... So I wanted to rely on you."
"..."
"I'm sorry. I feel like I've burdened you..."
It was a smile that looked like it could crumble and disappear at any moment.
Then I remembered that I had only seen Ray once in my previous life, and not as a royal, but by chance as I passed by.
Royal family members other than the emperor and empress usually don’t show themselves openly, but Ray, as the fourth prince, was especially hidden.
I’d met several royals while running my shop and delivering goods, but I’d never seen the fourth prince. If I had met him directly, I wouldn’t have had to search so hard.
My head grew hot. I hated the emperor—for not even being able to control his own household.
Even if I, an outsider, acted coldly, this wasn’t right for his own son. Maybe my heated head made my eyelids burn, too.
When I came to my senses, I was firmly holding Ray’s hand.
“No! It’s not a burden at all!”
My head was still hot, so reason didn’t resist this time. If I were going to be cruel to such a pretty, kind child… then give him to me!
'If it were me, if he were our family's child, I would cherish him dearly.'
Everyone couldn't recognize a treasure... I vowed to treat him even better than they did what they failed to do.
So that he would feel loved as a matter of course and wouldn't flinch and run away even if someone's hand brushed his.
"...Really?"
Ray asked cautiously at my words.
The darkness that had clouded his face lifted, and a faint glimmer of hope flickered in its place.
I spoke again, as if reaffirming my resolve.
"Yes! If you're having a hard time, you can lean on me!"
...I'm sorry, Dad, Mom. But as a human being, it was hard to just stand by and watch.
I wondered if I had acted too rashly, but I had no regrets. No, I wouldn't have any.
As if to show my determination, I put more strength into the hand holding Ray's, and Ray smiled softly.
...The person in front of me was clearly a child, but strangely, the image of the older Ray from my previous life came to mind, and my cheeks flushed.
Although I hadn't seen the older Ray's face directly because it was obscured, I felt certain he must have been handsome.
'What am I thinking about a child?'
I felt embarrassed for having strange thoughts about an innocent child and averted my gaze, but the hand holding Ray's twitched.
Did I grab him too tightly and hurt him?
I tried to let go of his hand, but that wasn't what Ray wanted.
Ray's fingers intertwined with mine through the gaps, and he held my hand tightly in a clasp.
I was a little flustered and shivered slightly. It wasn't the first time I had clasped hands; I often did it playfully with my family, but it was the first time doing it with someone else, especially a person of the opposite sex.
That Pedro brat had never done such a ticklish thing for me, saying it was troublesome.
"Uh..."
Now even the tips of my ears were hot.
I felt strange wondering if it was okay for me, as an adult, to feel this way about something an innocent child was doing without any ulterior motive.
So I tried to pull my hand away because I felt burdened, but...
"Thank you, Seiana. Thank you..."
Ray looked directly at me as if I were the only person in the world.
Seeing my reflection clearly filling his eyes without any gaps made me even more embarrassed than before.
The other person was probably just expressing gratitude without any deep meaning.
'Somehow, somehow... why do I feel like I'm being courted?'
This was all because I had no immunity to men.
I knew I was pretty, but despite that, I wasn't popular.
It was a contradictory statement, but it was true. I had never been confessed to even once.
That's why I was confused.
'What courtship from a child!'
I really needed to build up my immunity to men so I wouldn't have such nonsensical thoughts.
I was embarrassed that I was thinking such things about him, even though Ray couldn't read my mind.
Perhaps with the passage of time, or because I was thinking about other things.
My head cooled down, and reason gradually returned.
Come to think of it, I... am holding hands again, aren't I?
“Eek!”
And to make matters worse, I’d spoken informally again! Once could be a mistake, but twice was no accident. I was truly a fool.
“I-I’m sorry!”
Panicked, I tried to pull my hand away, but Ray was faster. He gripped our clasped hands tighter and rubbed my hand against his cheek.
“Don’t.”
“Eh…”
“I don’t want you to treat me like that, Seiana.”
“Uh…”
“I don’t like feeling like you’re drifting away.”
His pleading face made me hesitate, and he asked with drooping eyebrows.
“I like holding hands like this with you… but do you dislike it?”
Tears welled up under his eyes, and I squeezed my eyes shut. How could I say no to that face?
I had no choice but to compromise.
“…Then, when it’s just the two of us, I’ll speak informally.”
Ray smiled beautifully, like a well-fed cat.
***
“Oh no! I was so focused on running away that I left behind the most important Lovy!”
For some unknown reason, the count, his two sons, and even the countess all fled, leaving Seiana behind to avoid Raymund.
In the end, the two met, and by the time the count hurried home, it was already too late.
“…Did she run away?”
Hearing the count, Seiana was stunned, but not as much as the count himself. What on earth had they done in such a short time to end up holding hands?
“Some outsider man with my daughteeeer…!”
The count started to speak but felt his heart tighten suddenly and quickly looked away. He couldn’t bear to look directly.
If he didn’t see it, his fear eased somewhat.
The fear of those with abilities flared up the moment one's eyes met them and their existence was perceived.
That was why most people who worked in the imperial palace would grovel like slaves and bury their heads in the ground when fear surged, until the person passed by.
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