TCS - Chapter 17
"Lovie. Don't you want to study abroad?"
"Suddenly? No, I... I'm 10 years old?"
Entry into the domestic academy happens at 12, but study abroad at 10? I couldn't hide my trembling eyes. Is it true? Are they really trying to send me abroad because I showed interest in a boy?
Fortunately, the study abroad matter seemed to fizzle out when I showed a look of being flustered beyond absurdity. Unlike my second older brother, who was relieved, my first older brother and parents looked disappointed, though.
Then, one night…
Blink.
Pretending to be asleep with my eyes closed, I actually woke up as the moon passed over the mansion. Like a snake, I quietly slithered out of bed and stepped barefoot onto the floor.
“Tonight, I’m definitely going to find out.”
Since I realized my father was burning mysterious letters, I had come to know that those letters arrived several times a day.
At first, there was only one letter a day, but gradually the number increased.
Just today, before breakfast, after breakfast, before lunch, after lunch… in total, there were eight letters. Each time, my father wore a weary expression, so I couldn’t help but notice.
‘What could be so secretive that he’s desperately hiding it from me?’
My curiosity was unbearable. The letters received during the day were probably burned, but those from evening and before bedtime might still be there. So I planned to sneak into my father’s study tonight and secretly peek at the letters.
I went outside barefoot. Although slippers were provided, they had low heels that made noise when I walked, so barefoot was better.
The hallway was completely dark, but relying on moonlight and memory, I carefully made my way…
“Ah, it’s unlocked.”
I reached my father’s study. Luckily, the door wasn’t locked.
The study was as dark as the hallway, and I couldn’t turn on the light. If the patrol saw the study brightly lit, they would surely come looking.
Relying on the moonlight, I searched the drawer where letters were usually kept, but the drawer was empty.
“...Gone?”
Flustered, I checked other drawers but found no letters anywhere. Just in case, I touched the fireplace attached to the study and felt a faint warmth.
‘So he burned them before going to bed.’
I thought I had perfectly hidden my intentions, but seeing that I was caught at once, it seems that wasn't the case. I felt like I had been found out.
Since I failed this time, I should aim for the next opportunity, but...
'Will the letters really keep coming?'
Because a letter could stop coming even tomorrow, it wasn't certain whether the next opportunity would even come.
Feeling disappointed I couldn’t satisfy my curiosity, I turned away—but surprisingly, the next day, I was able to resolve it.
* * *
They must have sensed I sneaked into the study to steal letters without permission yesterday, so I expected to be scolded when I woke up in the morning, but no one said a word.
It felt awkward—as if they wanted to avoid even mentioning it—so after eating, I quietly avoided my father.
‘This is suffocating…’
Though my body was still young, my mind was already adult, so the family’s secretive behavior felt frustrating and stifling.
Knowing they did it out of love, I couldn’t say anything, so feeling sulky, I hid in the garden bushes.
If I stayed downhearted in my room, I knew my family would awkwardly tiptoe over, so I planned to stay hidden until I felt better.
'Now that I think about it, after time went back, I experienced so many shocking things that I haven't thought about the future at all.'
My mind was instantly filled with thoughts of the male and female leads. In this life, I want to meet them somehow...
"Both of them have too few clues..."
I muttered, imagining people I’d never seen. I wished I could see illustrations like gods do.
But that was not allowed, which was very disappointing.
‘The male lead has golden hair, and the female lead has sky-blue hair…’
Sigh. Half the empire’s population had blonde hair, and sky-blue hair was so common you’d trip over it on the street.
Even my mother and eldest brother were blonde, and several of our household knights had blonde hair.
‘…Ray is blonde too.’
Thinking of Ray, I naturally remembered that damn Pedro and scowled—but since he was a jerk, I decided he wasn’t blonde but “crappy blonde.”
‘Blonde… Blonde, huh.’
Wait a minute? That means Ray could possibly be the male lead?
He’s my age, blonde, and considering I met him in the palace in my previous life, it made sense. But there was one crucial condition for being the male lead…
‘Is he an ability user?’
Hmm, I don’t think so. When I approached him, he trembled like a newborn fawn, his big eyes filled with tears. Such a fragile child couldn’t be an ability user.
“He looked more like someone I should protect…”
Also, their eye colors were different.
‘The gods said the male lead’s true color is black eyes…’
Ray’s deep golden eyes, like sunset before dusk, couldn’t be the male lead’s. Besides, his eyes seemed normal.
‘Huh, wait…?’
Thinking of golden eyes suddenly reminded me of someone. When I spent money in my past life to meet the male lead, that person looked at me suspiciously, wondering what I was after.
Golden eyes weren’t very common, but they weren’t nonexistent. However, there was only one family with eyes as deep as gold.
Shaken by this deduction, my vision blurred, and my pupils trembled.
“That family is someone I know… and the parents are also my second brother’s superiors…?”
Really…? Is what I’m thinking true…? Images of Ray, or rather the prince, flashed through my mind along with all the rude things I had done.
Touching him without permission, holding his hand, even speaking informally…
“Could it be… all those letters were sent from the palace?”
The letters must have been summons for the offender who disrespected the prince. Thinking this way, my parents’ serious faces and my father burning the letters to keep me from seeing them all fit perfectly.
“That’s why they wanted me to study abroad!”
To hide me in a foreign country until things settled down!
Ah, overwhelmed by the sudden realization, I lay down in the garden.
“Burning letters sent from the palace… what were they thinking…”
Though it wasn’t outright defying an imperial command, it still looked like serious disrespect.
“That’s such a risky thing to do…”
I felt sorry for sulking alone. Even though I called myself an adult, I had acted so immaturely that my heart felt heavy.
It was then, when I didn't know what to do with the guilt of having thrown tantrums until now.
The garden, no, the entire mansion became noisy. I could see the servants and knights moving busily as if searching for someone.
Are they looking for me because I'm not in my room? It was the moment I peeked my head out from beyond the bushes, wondering.
“Found you.”
Before me appeared a splendid ceremonial robe, and a shadow fell over my head.
Slowly raising my head to see who it was, I saw dazzling golden hair shimmering like fairy threads, backlit by the sun.
* * *
Since that day, Raymund has been plagued by thirst. Or rather hunger. His heart felt like a bottomless jar—always empty and constantly yearning for someone.
‘I want to see her again.’
Longing for the warmth he once felt, he clasped his own hands, but oddly, his hands weren’t warm like Seiana’s.
The more so, the greater the emptiness inside grew, yet Raymund couldn’t go see Seiana.
He had sent letters promising to visit steadily, but no replies came.
“Did they even send it properly?”
He asked the palace messenger, who replied indignantly that they had delivered it correctly.
So the count was simply ignoring the letters on purpose…
“Haha.”
Though irritated by the count’s disrespect, Raymund understood his position.
The count probably wanted to avoid letting his precious daughter be captured by a monster. He wanted to protect her by keeping her away.
He understood that, but couldn’t forgive it.
He had barely found an oasis himself. He felt as if he might die of thirst any moment, but feared that if he stepped there, the water source might become contaminated. So he couldn’t just do nothing.
‘But I can’t push too hard.’
He had the power and the reason, but if he forced things and made Seiana sad, or worse, caused her to resent him, he was afraid.
The weaker party always loses, so with no other choice, Raymund could only protest by sending more letters.
Even if he wanted to confront the count, the count himself was feigning illness and avoiding court, so there was nothing else he could do.
Letters that were once sent only in the morning were now also sent at noon and evening. When that didn’t work, twice a day, and even before bedtime.
The palace messenger said the count always received the letters properly, but it was clear his letters probably never reached Seiana.
One day, having been constantly ignored like that, his brain, driven mad by the repeated thirst, gave Raymund a brilliant idea.
Comments Box