TCS - Chapter 16
Eventually, the trip came to an end. For some reason, everyone suddenly became anxious and told me they wanted to return to the estate right away.
Though puzzled, I didn’t object, satisfied at least that once back at the estate, I wouldn’t have to face the detestable Sachsen family.
I thought that with the trip over, Father and my brothers would return to work, but that wasn’t the case. It seemed they intended to spend their vacation holed up in the estate, even the second brother who said his body ached if he didn’t run drills daily at the palace knights’ training grounds.
I didn’t understand why everyone was acting this way, but at least I could rest at the estate without any bothersome matters, giving me a chance to think things over slowly.
"How outrageous."
As I lay in bed, going over the events in my mind, something strange caught my eye.
"That figures. There's no way that stupid cowardly bastard Pedro would have done that."
I was a fool for firmly believing, because of my lost memory, that it was Pedro who had saved me.
Even in my vanished previous life, and this time too, the person who had dragged me and run away from the attackers' assault was not Pedro, but Ray.
'I couldn't help it, though. All that remained in my memory was the terror that felt like it would drive me insane, and the blonde hair that flickered as he went ahead of me.'
I felt very sorry. Of course, not to Pedro, but to Ray.
Compared to Pedro’s dull, dung-colored blonde hair, Ray’s blonde shone brilliantly even when covered in dust.
“Why did I get it so wrong...?”
While berating myself for being foolish, I also felt anger toward Pedro. It was truly infuriating that he lied as if he had saved me to secure our family’s wealth.
“Ugh, I really am an idiot!”
Even though Pedro treated me badly and acted like trash, I couldn’t let go because of that silhouette I remembered from my lost memories.
Unable to contain my frustration, I pounded the pillow with my fists.
If it weren’t for that damn lie, I wouldn’t have fallen for someone like Pedro, nor would I have gotten engaged...
Though that life is gone, since I remember it, I couldn’t stop the shame flooding over me.
‘...But somehow, this time I haven’t lost my memory?'
While the rush of attackers was frightening, it wasn’t as terrifying as the fear I felt in my past life.
‘Maybe it was because I was younger then?’
Though my body is still young now, my mind is that of an adult. I suppose the amount of fear one can handle differs even when facing the same event.
As my thoughts shifted from loathing Pedro and self-reflection, they soon landed on Ray.
“Is he okay...?”
No one had told me how he was doing since then, which made me even more worried.
He was the child of my second older brother's superior, so I thought my brother might know the news, but every time I brought it up, his expression turned sour. As if he didn't want to talk about such difficult things with me.
Every time that happened, my heart weakened, so I went along with his wishes, but...
'This won't do. I'm so curious I can't stand it.'
Today, I must hear news about Ray from someone! I jumped out of bed. Finding my family wasn't difficult. Everyone was gathered in the drawing-room.
As I passed by and heard voices, I looked in and was shocked because they were talking, excluding only me.
'Am I being ostracized right now?'
Seeing their serious faces, it seemed like an important conversation, so why hadn't they called me? Without hiding my disappointment, I peeked my head through the gap in the door and asked.
"...What are you all doing here?"
Gasp! Everyone quickly drew a breath, and the atmosphere was one of being caught.
What is it? Wondering what they were trying to hide from me, I narrowed my eyes and examined my family's complexions, but I could strangely feel that the room was stuffy.
Even though it was early summer, it wasn't to the extent that the room would become this hot, was it? Thinking it was strange, I looked around, and to my surprise, the fireplace was lit. It was burning very fiercely.
"...Aren't you all hot?"
As I approached the fireplace with a bewildered look, everyone stammered and tried to stop me, but I didn't care.
Wondering why on earth they had lit this, I peeked inside and could see something like scraps of paper between the burning logs.
Did they light the fire now to burn those papers? What could that be? Although I looked as if seeking an answer, my family just quickly averted their gaze.
"...Just because I felt like burning some documents today."
"That doesn't look like documents? Who puts gold leaf decoration on documents?"
Seeing that a line of gold leaf was inscribed on the edge of the unburned paper, it was clearly a letter. When I pointed that out, my father rambled on with strange excuses, saying he felt like decorating documents on that particular day.
Ignoring his words, I examined the fireplace again. Considering the amount of ash remaining from the burning, I could tell that there weren't just one or two letters.
“What kind of letters are these?”
“It’s nothing important enough for you to worry about, Lovie. Just... um, is something wrong? Why not take more rest?”
Second brother changed the subject awkwardly mid-sentence. It seemed suspicious, yet his tight lips told me he wouldn’t reveal anything even if pressed. The others were the same. I sighed.
“Why should I rest more? You’re always telling me to rest... I just want to stop resting already.”
“I-I see.”
“Anyway, I came down because I was curious about something...”
“What is it?”
"About Ray, is he doing well..."
Cough!
When I seemed to be moving on without asking further, the second older brother's face brightened considerably. But at my subsequent words, his face changed to one as if he was spitting blood.
Why is he like that...? Although I tried to ask the other family members for agreement that the second older brother was strange, everyone's expression was serious. My mother, who had been sitting quietly, asked.
"Lovie. Why are you curious about that? He's a child you met for the first time that day, isn't he?"
"Uh? Well... because we went through a difficult experience together, you know?"
I'm worried, you know. Flustered by my mother's cold voice, I stammered out the words, and everyone swallowed their silent groans. The atmosphere looked quite bad, and I was just about to become suddenly scared, thinking perhaps he had been attacked again separately and something bad had happened.
"That... child is safely doing well."
Contrary to my expectation, it was good news. In my ears, which were relieved, my mother's question was heard again.
"Is that the only reason?"
"...Yes?"
"I'm asking if you're just worried about his well-being simply because you experienced the same thing as that child, with no other reason."
My mother's gaze turned towards me as if piercing through me. To be honest, there was another reason. But it was a difficult reason to reveal.
'Actually, that child saved me in my previous life too, and later, when I grew up and was sad, he comforted me.'
No matter how much my family loves me, if I said I was worried about Ray for this reason, they would have no choice but to doubt my sanity. Therefore, there was only one thing that could come out of my mouth.
"Can there be any other reason besides that? We met for the first time that day, you know?"
Only then did my family's persistent gazes disperse, but I felt uneasy.
'What are they all being so wary of like this?'
There were times in my previous life when my family was this serious. Although I don't want to say it myself, it was when I insisted I would marry Pedro even if it killed me.
My family probably saw clearly the Saxen family’s greed. They tried to turn my heart, but because I was so adamant, they arranged the engagement.
Back then, they warned me seriously, but it wasn’t this extreme. No matter how you looked at it, it was just concern over a young daughter’s interest in a prospective thief.
‘Strange... Even Mother?’
Mother used to sigh and say, “Our daughter’s all grown up” when she saw my obsession with Pedro. If she’s now wary, there must be serious trouble with Ray.
‘What could it be, really?’
I was so curious, but no one here could satisfy my questions.
I had a feeling the family’s secrecy and their wariness of Ray were connected.
"Anyway, it's a relief that he's safe. Since my curiosity is resolved, I'll go back."
If no one will tell me, there's no choice but to find out myself. Pretending my interest had disappeared, I came out of the drawing-room where my family was gathered.
However, instead of just going back to my room, I carefully entered a room on the floor above the drawing-room, lay prone on the floor, and put my ear down.
Along with the buzzing sound muffled by the wall, I could hear the faint sound of my family's conversation. It was the voices of my father and the first older brother.
[...It’s dangerous. Why is Lovie interested... in that...]
[He... is handsome... It’s hopeless... She’s bound to fall...]
What?! These people! How dare they think I care only about looks! My face flushed immediately.
If I cared only about appearances, would I have gotten engaged to someone like Pedro? I was always someone who looked deeply inside people.
‘Well, I admit... Ray is pretty...’
That was true, so I just pouted. Then the conversation continued.
[But burning the letters... is that okay...?]
[It’s fine...]
So those really were letters. They kept insisting they were documents decorated with gold leaf—ridiculous. But something was odd.
‘If the letters are decorated with gold leaf, they must be from nobility... Could they be from the Saxen side?’
Did they burn the letters out of anger because they were sticky and clingy?
I thought it over, but no other reason came to mind. Meanwhile, the conversation went on.
[This crisis... how to resolve it...]
[What about studying abroad...?]
I couldn’t help widening my eyes. Study abroad? Who? Surely not me?
But thinking it through, it could only be me. My parents and eldest brother were too old to study abroad, and second brother was a musclehead. Unless it was training abroad, but study abroad?
That left only my younger brother and me. Though I was young, he was even younger. Naturally, I was the only candidate.
‘Ha ha, no way...’
I once thought, “They wouldn’t send their daughter abroad just because she’s interested in a boy, right?”
Comments Box