"I haven't said that in this lifetime," Shen Mianyin said coldly.
Gu Luo'an's eyes widened suddenly. "You...what are you saying?"
"Gu Luo'an, you've mixed up your memories," Shen Mianyin said.
Gu Luo'an took two steps back in disbelief. "You...you also..."
"Did you think I didn't have memories of my past life?" Shen Mianyin said softly. "So, you thought you could start over. Be a little nicer to me, beckon with your fingers, and I'd come back to you like before?"
"Mianyin..." Gu Luo'an was truly panicked now. "Mianyin, I was wrong, I was really wrong."
"That's why this time I thought...I thought we wouldn't miss each other again." Gu Luo'an hurriedly went to the bedside, wanting to grab Shen Mianyin's hand, but she avoided him. "Mianyin, let's start over, okay?"
"Don't worry, things like in the last life won't happen again," Gu Luo'an said hastily. "I've already found a matching kidney for Su Yiqing, she'll be fine soon."
"I've essentially saved her life, so she can no longer use the fact that you occupied her identity against you," Gu Luo'an said anxiously. "After this, I won't pay attention to her anymore. My heart belongs only to you, Mianyin."
Shen Mianyin only felt disgusted and nauseous.
"Gu Luo'an, not everything can be started over," Shen Mianyin said with disgust. "I begged you so much back then. I was willing to give her a kidney, but at least give me a chance to recover my health."
"I was in a car accident, and all my bodily functions were below standard," Shen Mianyin said. "But you didn't listen. You deceived me, gave me sleeping pills, forged my signature on the surgery consent form, and sent me to the operating room."
Shen Mianyin chuckled lightly, "Gu Luo'an, to save Su Yiqing, for your so-called damn compensation, you took my life."
"That car accident back then, it was also Su Yiqing who orchestrated it. I told you that, didn't I?" Shen Mianyin said. "Before I fell unconscious, I clearly heard the driver who caused the accident make a call to Su Yiqing, telling her that the matter was taken care of."
"Su Yiqing used the car accident to get me into the hospital, and then you used that opportunity to send me to the operating room," Shen Mianyin suddenly realized. "It was me being stupid. It took me this lifetime to understand."
"No wonder you didn't believe me when I told you about it in the hospital ward, and you stormed off in anger," Shen Mianyin suddenly started laughing non-stop. "You weren't angry because you thought I was wrongly accusing Su Yiqing at all."
"But because you knew the truth all along." Shen Mianyin watched as Gu Luo'an became increasingly panicked and helpless. She knew she was right.
"You and Su Yiqing conspired together to set me up. She got me into the hospital, and you got me into the operating room. Doesn't it all add up?" Shen Mianyin laughed coldly, but as she mentioned this, tears still couldn't help but fall from the corner of her eyes.
"Mianyin, don't cry, it won't happen again, never again," Gu Luoan said in panic.
"Gu Luoan, don't flatter yourself," Shen Mianyin scoffed. "I'm not crying because I'm sad about what you did to me. I've already been heartbroken, and now that I don't love you anymore, how can I be sad for you?"
"I'm thinking about the pain I had back then, it feels like my bones still ache now," Shen Mianyin said. "After my kidney was removed and I returned to the ward, I couldn't breathe after a short while. The suffocating fear, even thinking about it now makes me tremble."
"But do you know, Gu Luoan?" Shen Mianyin said softly, "When I got into the car accident, my baby was 59 days old."
Gu Luoan sat down on the floor, stunned.
Shen Mianyin looked down at him and said, "You and Su Yiqing, together, killed your own child."
"I got into a car accident and was sent to the operating room, and I lost the baby. My body was really weak at that time," Shen Mianyin sniffed. "Not only because of the car accident, but also because I had just lost the baby."
"Since you're also from the previous life, do you know this? You left me in the secret room the same way before," Shen Mianyin simply blurted it all out. "After you left with Su Yiqing, you never came back."
Seeing that Gu Luoan was about to say something, Shen Mianyin stopped him, "I know, you're going to say again that she was not well and that you were busy taking her to the hospital. The employees and the owner of the secret room were also afraid of taking responsibility, so they quickly closed the secret room and went to the hospital."
"No one remembered that I was still inside, not a single person. I was locked up in there for a full seven hours," Shen Mianyin said. "Since then, I've had claustrophobia and an extreme fear of the dark."
"It took me a long time and a lot of effort to finally be able to sleep with just a light on outside my bedroom door, just a little bit of light," Shen Mianyin said. "You only cared about Su Yiqing's health, but you never thought about how close I was to breaking down when I was locked in that airless little room today."
"If I hadn't absolutely reached my limit, I wouldn't have asked you to take me out," Shen Mianyin said. "But you don't understand, even now, you still don't understand my personality."
"You don't even know what it means for me to ask you for help." It meant she was on the verge of collapse, that she was even resorting to asking Gu Luo'an.
"After doing all those things, you still have the nerve to ask me to get back together, to ask for my forgiveness?" Shen Mianyin laughed for a good while, as if she had heard the biggest joke in the world. "Gu Luo'an, just seeing your face and hearing your voice makes me sick now."
"I'm enduring this disgust to talk to you, not to hear you say you regret it and want to make it up to me," Shen Mianyin said. "I hope you'll have a pang of conscience and stop being so shameless in pestering me."
"Even if you feel a little sorry for me, just stay away from me," Shen Mianyin said. "You can go out and ask, after doing all those things, who in their right mind would choose to forgive?"
"I think my mind is pretty normal," Shen Mianyin softly said to Gu Luoan. "So now, get out, okay?"
Gu Luoan stood up, his soul seemingly lost.
Shen Mianyin's words had hit him hard.
He really didn't know... he really didn't know she had gone through so much.
He also didn't know she had once been pregnant with their child.
"If..." Gu Luoan asked as a final struggle, "if I had chosen to rescue you first today, would you... forgive me a little?"
"I would," Shen Mianyin said. "Although I wouldn't get back together with you, I would think that you were really changing."
"But there are no ifs," Shen Mianyin said. "Gu Luoan, we're lucky to have a second chance. But we won't be so lucky to have countless second chances."
"The fact that I can have a second chance is thanks to heaven's mercy."
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