IBS - Chapter 32

But even if that was the case for me, what did he mean he couldn’t make any promises?

If Han Jinheon couldn't make a promise, it would lead to an accident. An accident. And frustrating as it was for me, a transmigrator, I couldn’t have an accident with Han Jinheon. If I had any common sense, I knew I shouldn't. This was something I had to view with a long-term perspective. Han Jinheon was family, someone I’d have to see for the rest of my life.

I shouldn't worry about it so much. Han Jinheon probably just said it to tease me...

"Oh, what was Han Jinheon going to say?"

We called each other at the same time earlier, but I was the only one who said what I needed. I'm curious. I should ask Han Jinheon when he gets back.

***

The moment Han Jinheon got home from work, I chased him into his room to ask. Even though we could have talked leisurely over dinner, I had been waiting so impatiently for his return that I had no patience left. Nor did I want to be patient. I wanted to be near him right now.

I couldn't disturb him while he was in the dressing room, so I sat at the foot of the bed and asked,

"Hyung, do you remember what you were going to say this morning?"

If I hadn't been there, he would have gone straight to the bathroom after changing. But since I had come all the way to his room and was waiting, Han Jinheon politely put on just the bottoms of his loungewear and came out.

I grumbled that I was crazy and quickly covered my flushed face with both hands. But I subtly widened the gap between my middle and index fingers to secure my view. I couldn't miss that stimulating and toned body.

"Instead of doing that, why don't you go out? Come back later when we can talk."

"I want to talk now. I've been waiting just for you, Hyung..."

"For someone who's been waiting just for me, where are you looking?"

I'm looking at your body. I just can't take my eyes off it.

There's no way Han Jinheon didn't notice my gaze fixed on his body. He teased me, saying that I came to see his body even after work, following up from this morning, and then he approached me. Gasp. I involuntarily sucked in a breath.

"It's nothing much. I told you I'd give you a building as compensation, right?"

"Y-yes..."

"I thought you might be a little suspicious instead of completely believing that, so I was going to offer to write you a contract if you wanted."

"A contract?"

"Yeah. Wouldn't that make you feel more at ease?"

It was a pure intention, different from my dirty lust for the alpha's body. My conscience was pricked, and at the same time, I was surprised because I hadn't expected a contract at all. How could I not trust Han Jinheon? How could I doubt him? He's the only one who cares about me.

My heart was a hybrid. One part was beating for Han Jinheon, and the other was beating for the building. The mixed and swirling pulsations were enough to make me lose my mind. It wasn't me, but Han Jinheon, who was keeping me sane.

"Let's get the trait test done first. Then, I'll have Lawyer Park draw it up, so keep that in mind."

"Okay, okay."

As if he remembered something else, Han Jinheon told me to wait a moment and went back into the dressing room. He came out with his wallet and took out a card for me. This was the card that almost came to me before but was rejected.

"Now the conditions should be met."

The conditions were the medicine and pheromones.

Come to think of it, I said something when I refused the card Han Jinheon gave me back then. I said I wouldn't become an omega unless it was a life-or-death crisis. It seems my words have come true, as I'm facing a crisis from Lee Geumyeong. Maybe "life-or-death crisis" is an exaggeration.

To be honest, I'm still half-doubtful. Whenever I think of Lee Geumyeong, I want to become an omega quickly with Han Jinheon's help, but I'm worried about dangerous factors like pheromones and heat cycles. He said he would take responsibility for me, but I knew that promise might not be kept.

That's why I wonder if I should quit while I can, before December, if I have the chance, but the building is holding me back. In the future, even if Han Jinheon isn't by my side, the building he gave me will still be there.

"You're not taking it? If you're not going to take it, never mind."

"No! I'll take it!"

I hurriedly snatched the card before it was taken back and put it in my pocket. I scratched the back of my neck, embarrassed that I looked like I had snatched it from him when I should have been cherishing it. Han Jinheon gently tossed his wallet onto the bed to free his hands.

"What are you going to do with your mother's money in your account?"

"That's... I was going to use it, but can't I? Should I give it back?"

"Why can't you use it? Do whatever you want with it, whether you use that or the card."

"...Thank you, Hyung."

"You've become human, you even know how to say thank you."

"If I'm human, I should know how to be grateful. Your brother is a proper human being."

"You don't look like one, the way your eyes are fixed on my body like a beast."

I pouted and glared at him for teasing me, saying I was only halfway to being human. Then, I loudly declared that I would leave the room as a proper human being and cut off all thoughts of Han Jinheon's body. I made every effort not to look back as I left the room.

Seeing how difficult this is, maybe I really am only halfway to being human. No, Han Jinheon might think I've given up on being human. If he knew how I felt about him, that is.

***

Lee Geumyeong had been contacting me for several days in a row. When I didn't answer the phone, she switched to messages, sending me accusatory and dismissive messages that grated on my nerves.

She must have felt utterly betrayed by her son, Han Sol, that day. And it seemed she still hadn't recovered. It looked as though every time she tried to, the afterimage of me standing by Han Jinheon's side instead of hers would obstruct the process.

Another message arrived today. I sighed before I even looked.

Mom

[You should have told me you were unmanifested. How could you keep me in the dark without a single word? Did Han Jinheon not know? He knew, didn't he? You told him beforehand, right? He didn't look surprised at all.] 02:32 PM

[Why did you hide it? Why didn’t you tell me? Imagine if you had told me and manifested. Would your life be like this now? Would the Chairman look down on you? Would I be living with so much anxiety? I had to walk on eggshells because you couldn't manifest. How could you hide it when you knew all that?] 02:35 PM

[It’s not too late. Change your mind. Let’s have you manifest as an Omega. With that hospital, you can manifest in less than a week.] 02:37 PM

When I continued to ignore her, she resorted to cursing.

Mom

[You little shit. Are you not going to answer?]

[You ungrateful brat. After how I raised you. After everything I did to get you here.]

[I’ve been patient long enough. Don’t I get to be selfish too?] 03:02 PM

You can be selfish. As long as it has nothing to do with me.

Just reading the messages brought back the shock and emotion from that day. I tried to ignore the distressing feeling, but Lee Geumyeong was relentless. It would be at least another hour before the messages stopped.

I never thought the day would come when I would genuinely feel sorry for Han Sol, who was the scapegoat of this novel. 

What must it have been like for Han Sol to live with Dongshik Han and Lee Geumyeong as their son? It's obviously a twisted family and a dysfunctional home environment. Wasn't he too lonely because they weren't on his side?

I put down my phone and left the room. I was going to go down to the living room, but I turned towards the study. Han Jinheon was reading a book in the study. A man who reads a lot is sexy. Intelligent.

"Is this book interesting?"

"So-so."

"Should I read a book too?"

"You can try. There’s value in the mere attempt to read.”

“Do you have any comics?”

“Buy some if you need them. If it gets you to read words of any kind, even comics would be helpful.”

Borrowing comics is one thing, but buying them is such a waste of money, I muttered to myself. Scanning the bookshelf, I pulled out a book with the simple title, ‘Alpha and Omega.’ 

The contents of the book were as concise and clear as its title. Chapter 1 was on Alphas, Chapter 2 was on Omegas, defining each and describing the lives they lived.

I put the book back in its place. Leaning against the bookshelf, I stared at Han Jinheon and then at the ring on his neck. The silver ring showed signs of age but was well-maintained and shiny. What kind of person was its owner to Han Jinheon?

Curious, I rolled my eyes and hesitated before opening my mouth. Hyung.

"If I'm not bothering you, can I ask you something?"

"You're already bothering me. And you're going to ask even if I tell you not to, right?"

"Well, I wasn't planning to, but if you expect me to, I can't disappoint you."

"You're good with words. What is it?"

"I was just wondering... what kind of person was your mother to you..."

Han Jinheon's indifferent eyes, which had been on the book, met mine. I didn't know anything about Han Jinheon's mother. I'd heard that ignorance is bliss, but I was worried that I might have crossed the line, so I couldn't bear his gaze any longer and lowered my head.

Contrary to my worries, he answered calmly. He let out a sigh, but it felt more like a necessary clearing of the air before starting a conversation.

"The same as anyone else’s, I suppose. That’s what a mother is.”

“Like anyone else’s… I wonder if I can ever be like that…”

I had meant to say it quietly, but he must have heard my murmur. Han Jinheon closed his book and asked.

“Why? Have you come to hate your mother? Have you started to dislike her?”

I couldn’t answer easily. From my own perspective, I couldn’t say I felt any sense of human affection for Lee Geumyeong, let alone motherly love. But from Han Sol’s perspective, things might have been different, so I couldn't speak rashly, and instead just chewed on my lower lip.

"Her methods are just extreme. She does think of you, so don’t hate her too much.”

“…How can you say that when you know she dragged me away by force?”

“That’s from my perspective. If anyone is going to hate your mother, I’m more than enough for the job.”​